this is a really weird post because i don't think i'm capable of typing in capital letters or even with right grammar, because this is the first time i am typing when i am drunk.
today was a really odd day. i spent most of the day being roasted alive in a sea of dirty hipsters under a sweltering tropical sun. i was also third wheeling the entire day with my best bud #1 (the same dude who fucked the girl who gave up on me when i didn't have a hard-on) and his cute new girlfriend, and both of them pretty much spent the entire day taking pictures of themselves and going on long walks by themselves and being couply and shit (i sound jealous) and leaving me to sit awkwardly by their fucking huge mat. i mean, it wasn't that bad honestly, but half the time i felt like i was ruining their date, while also feeling really shitty for myself. i also realize that i really do like staring at couples making out quite a lot, or even dancing together, i don't know why but i just do, and also there were so many ray-bans out in the sun today, and all i could think about was this:
his girlfriend was being really odd and teasing me about being gay with her boyfriend since we have a lot of sleepovers where we sleep on the same bed, and about us going to a concert the week after without her, and she would grant us permission for us to dance together without her knowing. or how he should hold my hand since he's holding her hand and she didn't want me to feel left out (what the flying fuck? kinda weird) she also asked me if i thought the lead singer of kings of convenience was 'gay together' with the guitarist, and that 'they have to be, look at the way he moves' and weird shit like that, and hah, if she knew about me i doubt she would have made those jokes
i'm honestly burning right now, i'm so fucking burned from today, it's bad, my nose is red im a rudolph
fuck i should not publish this stupid post i'm just feeling sad for myself