Saturday, February 16, 2013

Drunken Foolery

Drinking has always been a little hard for me to control. Once I start I always have this need to finish every drop of alcohol in sight. There are many funny drunk stories of mine actually. Some are also pretty whacked. It was halloween sophomore year, and I don't think I gave a shit about a costume. I went to my friend's place after a halloween party and was pretty drunk by then, but still continued drinking JD with my friends. We were all kind of drunk and watched my friend play the xbox. Then this attractive guy walks in, with a cowboy hat, jeans, rainbow suspenders and nothing else. Gay cowboy, that was what he was dressed up as. Turns out he's in advanced math class with one of my friends (like fucking advanced even for me which is saying something - he did all those real analysis stuff) and basically I was just talking to him the entire night on the couch. He had blond hair and blue eyes, pretty lean, but really nerdy about the things he talked about ahaha. Like philosophical shit or something I can't remember. Everyone in the apartment was making fun of us for being such a couple, since we hit it off so well. Oh boy if only they knew, lol. He showed me pictures of his girlfriend (I don't know why, maybe he felt me coming onto him) and she was really cute, but she goes to another college. Anyway, things started to get pretty weird because when I wanted to leave, people were saying that I was too drunk to walk back by myself, and so he offered to walk me back.

He was kind of holding me along on the street, and I began acting drunker than I actually was. I told him "Man it's really cold out" which is pretty funny cos I had a coat and he was only in suspenders, and he hugged me closer. I joked and said "Wow I can't believe I'm getting warmth from a gay cowboy, haha" and he looked at me and laughed "Anything to keep you warm and safe back home bud" And this is why I say I should stop drinking excessively, because I took this as a sign to put my hands on his bare chest, and he didn't mind. We were still walking back to my place, and I kind of gently caressed his chest while pretending to be drunk and holding onto him for support, and he still didn't say anything. And out of nowhere I just put my hands down his pants, and started jerking him off for a bit. He just walked on, but got semi-hard after a while haha. My mind was going crazy, I was jerking off a gay cowboy on the street. Lmao. Anyway, that was really just it, he didn't bust or anything, I thanked him for walking me back after, and since then we've pretended like that never happened. 

Last night was a typical drunken night out for me. Had a couple friends over for dinner at my place, then we went over to another friend's place to pregame, and headed out to a club. I pregamed way too much, and by the time I got to the club I was already reaching my limit. We split a bottle of vodka, and wham I blacked out. I woke up this morning with my two best bros A & J sleeping on my bed with me, and I asked them what the hell happened. Hahaha...they were so pissed with me because I got really drunk and started...biting them. On their arms. In fact A told me after a while he stopped resisting because it was the only way to shut me up. Holy cow. I was also apparently making scary faces to this kid at the table across us at mickey d's, and she was traumatized. I completely regret drinking so much because I didn't remember anything from last night, and my friends were pretty surprised as to how HAM I get when I'm blacked out. I forgot drinking here isn't as excessive as back in amurca, yikes. 

I'm going out tonight again, but I'm definitely not going to drink that much since I don't know this group of people that well and won't have my best bros to have my back and shit. Seriously I love them to death hahah for taking all of my shit. In the morning we started shooting the shit about...penises. A asked me why does dick size matter for a gay dude, especially since it probably hurts like ass (mmhmm). I said I don't know, probably the same reason why straight guys love huge tits. He told me he doesn't get that either. I joked around and asked him "you sure you're straight?" Haha. (He is straight as an arrow)

1 comment:

  1. That was a hot tale. I have no tales to tell probably because i'm teetotal; hate the taste of alcohol and too scared that I out myself when drunk. sad i know.