This classic dilemma was something that I used to just kind of only guess for fun. Last night was the first time I decided to sort of put myself out there and get an answer once and for all. I went out last night to catch up with a friend who had a bottle at a club comped for her. First, we met at a bar, and I was talking to a bunch of their friends etc. There was this limp-wristed Questionable Guy (QG) and this German guy who had a red shirt tucked in, and beautiful eyes. Eyes are a huge thing for me by the way. When I asked them how did they meet each other, the German guy was being very awkward about everything and said "we met over food." In my head I was thinking, "right...I bet it was Grindr." He was super chill and easy to talk to too. He was also dancing really elaborately, not in a flamboyant way but in a very salsa type of way, yknow, like he certainly knew how to dance. So he was talking to me quite a bit, and the QG became a lil possessive. I was still unsure of what their arrangement was. He told me how when he was 24, he was engaged once, but it fell apart, and for me to know the story I need to know who he was as a person i.e. it's complicated i.e. he's gay. Or at least, that's what I thought. When we got to the club, he started talking to me really closely to my ear, and he put his hand over my shoulder and his face was so near mine I almost wanted to just kiss him there and then. Well, thank the fucken lord I didn't. I decided to drop an obvious hint to the German guy by telling him the last time I went to the club was for gay night. He replied with a brows-raised "oh" and that was it. After that he didn't talk to any of us much at all, because he was so busy macking on girls on the dancefloor. He made out with a couple of them, forced his way into taking pictures with them, and even tried to dance with this girl who was obviously not batting for his team since she was dancing with her girlfriend.
It was horrible. I felt incredibly awkward, and because I was pretty sober since I drank way too much the night before, it was pretty apparent to the group that I was with. In my head before all that slaying pussay shit happened I was thinking that I finally met a chill nice gay dude that I'm attracted to. Welp. Goddamn Europeans are always so ambiguous. He's pretty old though, like 28.
The QG got my number, and offered me a lift closer to my place. In the car he asked me if I've been to the club a lot in the past, and I said no, the last time I went was gay night though. I decided to tell him this because I just wanted to know what the hell his arrangement with the German guy was. Immediately after saying the gay night thing, he asked me point-blank "Are you gay?" It was a question that kind of threw me off balance, mostly because it was incredibly direct and personal, and I thought my way of telling him was obvious enough. I said yes, I am, and he goes on to tell me he's very open-minded about these things because he has 2 gay friends at school.
Maybe he isn't ready to come out, but this QG is very visibly limp-wristed and walks with a funny strut. I'm not hating on people like him but I honestly find it very hard to believe that limp-wristed guys are straight. The sensitive long-haired dude with a lot of hand gesticulations, sure that kind of questionable guy can be straight, but once the wrist is limp...I'm pretty sure the dick is limp for vagina. Also, I don't know if girls can actually be attracted to a limp-wristed man in the first place. I wouldn't know though I'm not a girl.
He started asking me highly personal questions, like when did I come out, are my friends okay with it, am I seeing anyone now, etc and it got annoying since that was the first (and probably last) time that I was going to hang out with him. When I got home, he texted me apologizing for being so direct and that he usually is more tactful. I said don't sweat it, I thought he and the German guy had something going on, and that he was gay anyway. And he said the German guy is "all yours" (which is strange because he was dancing with girls all night?) and that he gets the gay question "a lot" and if he doesn't find a girlfriend within the next 5 years he'd consider jumping ship. Rrriiggghttt...
I got home, and one of my best friends at college messaged me and was like hiiii what's up. I told her about the gay/european shit, she laughed, she told me we'd both find each other a cute guy lol, and that I should just see this in the way that a straight guy gets turned down by a girl at a club. I said it's different because there are so many biddies in the sea, but so hard to identify which paddy bats for my team. Anyway she just told me not to worry about it too much, and I gushed to her a bit about Robbie Rogers, and we both followed him on Instagram. Lmao. She's such a cool girl I really wished that I didn't leave the states, I made all my best friends there and I feel so much more at home there than I do back here. I'm trying to let go and move on, but it's been tough so far.