Monday, March 11, 2013

Beautiful people

This is quite a rant-y post.

So I decided to reinstate my Jack'd account and have been scoping out The Dudes and shit. There was one dude who was 0.03 km away from me when I was at my office desk, and I messaged him and said "wow lol it's like we're literally beside each other" AS A JOKE (I mean c'mon it's funny) expecting him to reply a "lollll, which floor do u work on???" but he didn't reply me at all, even after I tried to be funny again and said "aww ouch i got snubbed :o(" so fuck this shit, I'm clearly shit at this flirting business I'm just going to stop this tomfoolery completely.

I was lamenting to my friend that the two cute dudes I messaged have been really cold, and all the others who messaged me have been particularly unattractive. My friend asked me what I wanted out of Jack'd, and I said really just a couple of chill gay bros to hang out with, completely platonically. And then he asked me why am I then only picking out the attractive folk, and I said oh because I like having attractive friends. And he told me that I was really fucked up for saying that, on the same level as the other guys on Jack'd who only put up shirtless pictures of themselves to fuck around. What the hell? How is me wanting to have attractive friends the same level as that of promiscuous headless raw-dogging assholes?

I don't get it though. Who doesn't want to have attractive friends? I feel like it's really hypocritical of people to say that they don't judge people by appearances AT ALL. It's not like I look at someone "unattractive" and act like a mean dick to them. I just mean that if given the choice of a pool of people on a mobile dating app, I would just lean towards befriending the attractive guys.

So ok this guy that I am not attracted to messaged me and said "Hey I want to get to know you" and so being nice, I replied "Hey what's up?" and he replied "Do you want a LTR?" I'm like, dafuq? I feel like attractive people tend to know social graces better, probably because they've always been treated better I don't know. Then again who am I kidding, apparently my jokes are really shitty and people probably think I'm a bigass creep (I STILL think that I was pretty funny there)

I'm not gonna lie, I gravitate towards attractive people. Many of my friends in college are definitely lookers, but it's not like I stayed friends with them only because they're hot, but it's really because they're funny/fun to be with/chill/etc. Also, the reality of the situation is, attractive people hang out with attractive people. It's the initial attraction that got all my friends together in the first place.

Also, my gay friends really need to get the fuck off my dick some times...unlike them I'm totally new to this whole thing so OBVIOUSLY I'm still trying to find my way around things. They've been out since they were 16 or 18 or whatever. For Christ's sake this is just like all those goddamn online games, where the new noob gets constantly flamed by the pros. Everyone's telling me to calm my tits, did they really not go through a similar phase when they first came out? I finally can gush about the people I like, obviously I'm going to seem a little excessive about it. Unlike what they're thinking though, I'm not shagging anything that moves - in fact it's been the goddamn opposite.

Btw, I am not implying that I'm hot or anything. In fact, it's becoming clear from getting hit on a grand total of zero times at the gay club + getting snubbed by the two cute guys that I messaged that I'm anything but. It's becoming clear also that while I am shallow in some ways, the larger gay community seems to be even more shallow than that, and that if you don't have a hot body, 80% of the time no one would give a shit about you. In fact it feels like face matters less.

I'm the scrawny dude in the video, but it's okay bro-self, Christina Aguilera tells me that I'm beautiful. Words can't bring me down yo



  1. 0.03km-guy probably shat his pants thinking you're gonna out him in the workplace. Don't think he expected to find someone that near. LTR-guy sounds creepy/despo.

    Your friend is making no sense. But I think maybe it's more offensive to say I want hot friends than I want a hot bf even though both are shallow?

    Always wanted to start watching Community but never did.


    1. Ah...makes sense. I forgot everyone here is so goddamn discreet, which is really why I want to leave. Also he actually replied me in the end haha.

      And I know I'm pretty shallow to want to have attractive friends I just didn't think it was on the same level, and when I mean attractive I really just mean above average.

    2. Oh? What did he say?