Wednesday, March 20, 2013

Hmm

So I never thought about it, but I was talking to my mom about how comfortable I am being gay that I don't even mind doing one of those coming out story interview things and post it up online. And she told me, "but what about me?" And I realized that this really doesn't just affect me but it does affect my family too. Not that my mom isn't comfortable with me being gay, but I guess to a certain extent she is mindful of what she has to tell people. Like my grandparents have been lecturing me to get married soon before they kick the bucket, or how her friends would ask her when is she going to have grandkids and stuff. And she was actually kind of tired and wanted to tell my grandparents that "no he doesn't like girls" but I highly doubt that my grandparents can grasp the concept of homosexuality though.

So what I'm saying is, along with the fact that I think my gay friends are getting pissed at me for being so liberal and open about my sexuality, I'm gonna wind it down a notch. Basically, gonna tell less gay shit to my straight guy friends, but to my gal palz (and gay friends, i.e. you guys - I'm guessing you all are gay right??) aw hell yeah haha. The Aussie dude left me an audio message and his Aussie accent is ridiculously sexy, I think I'm pretty sure I'm going to knock back a few beers with him haha. He also abuses all the really girly emoticons on Line and he's this pretty beefy dude lol it's adorable. He can also tell me all his sexcapades when we meet, since he's 29 and way more experienced. I'm pretty excited to see him on Sunday to tell you the truth.

The Dutchman finally came back to me today and told me he's sorry for leading me on, and that he's going back in June to be with his boyfriend. I was pretty bummed honestly. He sent me so many mixed signals. And then after that he tells me that he really really likes me, and maybe even more than as just a friend, but things are just the way it is. Which confused me even more, and I got really mad at him. But I've cooled down, and I'm having dinner with him on Friday...alone. Hmm. I don't know man, these are murky waters I'm treading in, blehh.

I was talking to my college finance classmate that I found on Jack'd too, and we've been talking. His family is pretty conservative (He's Jewish), so he's not out to them at all. However, he apparently has gone to gay bars all the time while interning at NYC, and he told me it was because the atmosphere was really chill there, and everyone was really attractive. This is yet another shallow factor on top of the gay-friendliness that is really pulling me to NYC! I honestly hope I eventually end up there. I let him read my coming out story blogpost and he said he really liked it, and is considering writing one too to come out to his siblings. Score. He also told me he really liked hanging out with the international students during that one time he crashed our shindig, and I told him that he should come hang with me when I go back for graduation and I'd introduce him to the gang. International school kids are seriously the best, they know where it's at!

Anyway, so I know I've been a little boy-crazy. I know I know, I gotta calm the goddamn boner. But yeah, I think my heart is pretty quiet now though. Work is still pretty boring, my buddy at work today told me that maybe I can consider exploring other options after working for a year here...yikes, I think he can sense that I'm not entirely satisfied :S

1 comment:

  1. While it's great that you've come so far in such a short period, I guess you do have to give those that you've just sprung this on some time to catch up to you.

    Looks like you've got another wild weekend ahead of you. Come on, who are you kidding? Something's bound to happen on Friday with Dutch guy. Looking forward to juicy updates. haha

    -jw

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