What the fuck is "be this hard" ??? That quote above is making me think of penis lmao.
I've been listening to this song all the time now and the lyrics apply so well to me :(
Also, post title is me being a pussy lil alliterative wannabe
ANYWAYYY WAZZUP HOME BURGERZZZ
Friday night I went to the gym for 1 out of 3 PT seshs I got swindled into signing up for. The dude was some overly-big guy who made me do a body fat test, and then a physical aptitude test. What the fuck! I have 17% body fat. Dude that feels like it's a lot...It's apparently in a good range though, but he told me ideally I'd want to aim to go below 15%. He also asked me what was my motivation to go to the gym for, and I said I want to bulk up, and he pointed to some other guy and said "that size?" and the dude was like a fucking tank, so I said no, he asked, "like Men's Health cover model?" I said no, even less defined, and he was so confused he was like, "Um, then you're already good." Wtf? Lol. I said no, I just want to fill up my shirt and look good in them, yknow. Idk, I feel like these fitness buffs don't get that not everyone thinks that being a Machamp is attractive.
The first item on the physical test was a 10 minute run. I fucking died dude. I hate cardio, so I like, never ever run really?? Although back in my army heydays I could run 1.5 miles in 9 minutes flat. This time I ran a little over 2 km in 10 minutes (that's about 1.25 miles), and I was panting like a dog, and my legs were like jelly and I was really light-headed lol. He then made me do push-ups, but I had a pretty intense chest workout on Wednesday, and I was really dying from the run, so I ended up only doing 14 pushups. LMFAO. I felt like such a pussy-ass bitch dude!!! It was so embarrassing!!! ARGGHH. He was like lolwhut you did 14, you failed this item. Like I didn't even make it to being able to get a score...LOLOL.
Anyway, this whole thing is such a swindle...He pressured me to sign up for like 6 months of PT, and I said no, and he said okay, the next two seshs are just gonna be an orientation to the gym. Dude that ain't cool yo. Whatevs. Not gonna lose my cool. Ain't nobody got time fo dat.
Drove over to Chinatown to have dinner with my exchange student buddies, then drove em all to...karaoke! When we got in, all of them were wide-eyed "omfg?" because there were all these old Chinese people sitting around eating peanuts and drinking beer, and this woman was singing some really old Chinese song hahaha. And I started singing along, because I actually know a shit ton of Chinese songs for karaoke, like most of the time when I karaoke I sing exclusively Chinese songs because Chinese songs are awesome?? But yeah, we went over to our private karaoke room so all the kids calmed down a lil. Ordered a coupla pitchers of beer, and we started singing...Tswift, 1D, Eminem?? Gorillaz?? Nicki Minaj?? Lmao. I acted really coy at the start and was like, no you sing first, go ahead, I'll sing later. But when they gave me the mic, I just fucking did my shit hahaHAhaha. Sang Payphone and killed that shit yo. They were like, "yo you gotta leave the room, you're too professional for us!!" Hahahaha. This is kinda mean but I don't get why people who can't sing well like to karaoke??? It's like really weird, because everyone was really off-key and I wasn't drunk enough to really ignore it all hahaha.
Had hookah after that, and came home after. Btw, Dutchie was there too, but I seriously didn't really look at him that much, or flirt with him or anything, it was very civil, and kinda cool, I was like, man, think I'm really over him!
Saturday I met up with a friend who used to be part of my middle school clique. It's really extremely strange, but turns out about 80% of us in the group are gay. Wow. Back then I was friends with them honestly because I didn't fit in with the others in my class, but after a while I slowly found out I couldn't really get along with them too, because they're way too histrionic. Like they love to call each other slut, and bitch (not in the fratty way but like in a sister-way...) I kind of guessed that everyone's gay though, because everyone was pretty obviously femme, and they idolized Madonna, Britney, the tennis Williams sisters, etc...it still puzzles me why gay people love strong female icons, because I really think I share very little in common with women other than the fact I like to suck cock I guess.
Anyway, so we met up at the only gay bar I ever go to, and he's pretty muscly now... Like a twunk, a twink-hunk. Haha. It's weird cos he used to be so skinny and femme. Now he's a lot less flamboyant. I wanna be a twunk too actually. Haha.
We marveled over the fact that everybody turned out gay haha, and he told me I used to be such a dick because I made fun of them a lot...I feel really bad. I wasn't really like a gay-bashing homophobic gay bully though, I just teased them a lot for listening to Mariah Carey and worshipping the ground she walks on. And I also fake-came out to him a couple times, and got him really confused and annoyed. I told him that I absolutely cannot stand the gay stereotypes, of femme twinks or muscle marys, and I think he got kinda annoyed by that. Anyway, I ended up drinking way too much again. Okay kenn-do (btw, some people really do call me kenn-do in real life, the do is not like 'do it' but more like, dough. Why am I even explaining this??) seriously get a fucking grip on your alcohol intake!!! I had a full pitcher of gin and tonic, a glass of rum & coke light (no calories for this mofo right here), and a glass of long island iced tea and I blacked the fuck out. He recounted the night to me (he doesn't drink), and said I made out with 3 35-40 year old Indian guys, what the flying fuck!!!! And that he pointed out cute guys to me, and I would go up and chat em up, but after a while it got pretty obvious to them that I was really drunk and so they'd bounce. Apparently I also got along really well with this tall cute post-grad dude but I grabbed his dick and he left. What?? Lol. Man I'm so out of control some times argh!!!! :o(
And I ended up drunk-calling Dutchie again. What?!?!?!! I thought I was over him. He said I didn't really talk, that most of the call was just silence. I think I just wanted to feel like he was with me...I really don't get why he has such a hold on me dude. This is getting really effed up and annoying.
Anyway, about femme guys, it's really all about the voice and the hand actions to me. It's not even about the way people dress (obviously I draw the line if a dude wears a dress though), like seriously, I think floral is awesome, and I think all those fancy prints, as long as the person wearing em can pull them off (and feels confident enough too), are awesome too. I think fashion is fucking awesome and I love it. I'm really into prints now (heavily influenced by Dutchie), especially those subtle ones like, the lining of pockets or sleeves, or collars. Here are some examples of clothes that I really want to buy haha:
I'm also really into cuffing my pants and my sleeves. I gotta find shirts that have like different prints in the inside so when you fold em up, it's a different print. I think that's so cool!!! Anything with contrast is awesome in my opinion.
I woke up in my dogs' room again...Lol. Came back up to my room, crashed, woke up thirsty, and feeling kinda blue that I don't have anyone to wake up to every morning. My bed is huge and it's empty. Heh. But yeah I really should stop searching, and just let things...happen.
Man I can't wait to go back to Chicago and just chill and smoke a shit ton of weed with my friends.
[Edit: wait stop...I just found the ASOS models on Instagram. Dude. Made my day HAHAHA!!!]