Wednesday, April 10, 2013

I'm just as fucked up as they say

Just some rant I had to get out of my system.

In other less heavy news, check out Scott Herman on YouTube. Dude does gym exercise videos with the proper form and a hilarious breathing out TFFFTTTT sound, and I'm learning a lot about how I have weak-ass form oh boy. Dude is also mighty fineeee, so that's really killing two birds with one stone watching his vids. Did squats for the very first time in my life today, cos I'm a real noob and never thought about activating my growth hormones and all that poop so never did leg/core/back exercises, no wonder I ain't gettin swoll, bitch! 'Nuff real talk.

An old friend from the army contacted me and said that we should catch up on Friday since we haven't seen each other for about...5 years. He kept pestering me about my "girlfriend situation," and initially I told him I'll tell him more when I see him, but he got even more inquisitive and started asking me more questions. So I straight up told him, "hey so there's actually no girlfriend, because I'm not interested in girls" and he had the whole "seriously? Am I reading it right?" kind of thing and then he said "If that's the case, then hmm....let's not meet up then"

My entire body sank. There was, at the same time, both a lot and yet nothing going on in my head. And then he replied a "nah just playin with ya" and started asking me to give him advice on his girlfriend instead since clearly I'm supposed to be god's gift to straight guys into the psyche of a fucking vagina.

Anyway, aside from my trolling ass of a friend, it really got me thinking. So far none of my friends I've come out to have given me any shit for it. But I don't know how I'm gonna feel when a supposed "friend" just ups and leaves once I come out to him/her. It's weird really, since I haven't thought about this in a long time, that people might actually reject me for who I am.

It was a pretty good reality check.

1 comment:

  1. You're far from alone. I too feel my life is suspended in limbo, without a decided direction. Coming from one of the elite schools, I feel like I have fallen off the bandwagon while my peers continue to fly high. I really don't know what to do or I'm too afraid to do anything but life isn't a spectator sport. I think part of why this problem became more prevalent in our generation is that we've had it too easy, we've too many choices and we've an inflated sense of self-entitlement.

    Anyway, I coincidentally watched Scott Herman's bench press video a few weeks back because he was shirtless in the video thumbnail. haha. yeah and a good bench press tip from Sean Nalewanyj(i think his videos and articles are not bad) if you don't already know is to push through your elbows instead of pushing through your hands so you use less of your arm strength in the press.