And I fully hear you about drinking too much. My parents are extremely upset also that I have gotten myself into potential life-threatening situations multiple times in my life due to blacking out from drinking; Dutchie was also very concerned about my safety and would frequently lambast me for it. My biggest problem is that I love drinking, I love feeling buzzed and tipsy, but I really lack the control mechanism that everyone has, of feeling nauseous or bloated from drinking excessively. In my case, I graduate from buzzed to black out, with nothing in between but a burgeoning sense of foolish invincibility bestowed upon me due to my youth. I can’t even remember how I black out every single time I black out, which are never planned. Steps I have taken to counter this have included me driving out to bars and clubs that I go to, and generally trying to spend less money too since Asia is so much more expensive than America when it comes to partying.
Okay, so my frequent announcements of crossing each 1000th pageview are completely dwarfed by the mammoth figures that No Hetero receives. It is thoroughly entertaining still, to see that there are people from Finland, Brazil, Canada (probably JF) and South Africa coming here and reading what I feel is now an entirely self-absorbed autobiography that no longer really deals with “coming out issues” or “finding a gay identity” as intimately as before. Seriously, I have no clue why there are people reading this, but I guess it makes me happy. Bulk of the folks though comes from Hawaii (that’s you FoC!), California, New York, and Massachusetts.
Now. My weekend. As usual, I live for my weekends. Each one HAS to be exciting, if not…well, everything wouldn’t feel very right. Be warned: this entry is very long, so I'm splitting it up into four entries.
Dutchie did not check in on me after I ignored his messages on Monday (he knew I read them though, cos Line shows that), and I was getting increasingly frustrated and grumpy by this. I spoke to R about this, and he finally told me that Dutchie FaceTimed him yesterday and told R that he’s puzzled by why I didn’t reply him, and that he asked about me, and told R that he thinks he loves me because what else can explain why he always smiles when he’s with me? I smiled, but my heart sank too. There is a line in 500 Days of Summer (I’m a sucker for rom-coms) that I was reminded of: “Some people are meant to fall in love with each other but not meant to be together.” It was such a hard pill to swallow.
Meanwhile, my army mates decided to have a gentlemen’s night, a “bros before hos” shindig at my place involving an inordinate amount of Hendrick’s gin and tonic (along with Japanese cucumber slices), copious amounts of Mandarin karaoke, and an all-out nerdy-as-fuck League of Legends smashout. I wasn’t feeling good cos of Dutchie so I told them hos don’t mean shit to me, so why would I care about bros before hos? (Three of my mates have girl problems hence they all decided to come over) One guy said that for me it’s “bros before homos” and I rebutted him, “but what if I found myself a bromo?” And he said “Well, then your life is complete.” Hehehe. Truedat.
I finally caved and uploaded all the adorable photos I took of Dutchie during his time here on Facebook, and tagged him in them, so I could initiate a convo with him being “hehehe just uploaded your pictures.” I know, lame. He replied almost instantly, and we started talking again. He told me he’s not gonna lie and say he hasn’t been thinking about me. I asked him if we could Facetime, and he agreed. I immediately became so happy. He talked about his mother’s birthday surprise, the cheesecake he made, his brother’s wedding, and I talked about how I went to a fashion show/after-party, and how my army mates (which he has met before at my fav gay bar) were going to come over soon. I finally asked him if he wasn’t gonna talk to me at all if I didn’t try and reconnect first. He said he was thinking about writing me a letter, and snail mailing it to me. I laughed and told him I wouldn’t have had the patience to wait for a goddamn snail mail from Amsterdam, you buffoon. We laughed, and it felt good :o)
My army mates came soon after, they said hi to Dutchie, and I told him I’ll talk to him later. One of my mates that haven’t met him before remarked to me that he thinks Dutchie’s a good-looking guy. I smiled from ear to ear, “yes he is.” After that things became really wild. As I promised Dutchie I wasn’t going to drink too much, I pushed most of the G&T over to the rest of the heartbroken fellas, and we sang our fricken hearts out on my karaoke set. It was so much fun hahaha. I love Mandarin songs they are so cathartic. And I killed them yo, damn, I was buzzed enough to not care about how loud I was too.
Then things got shitty (but funny) after we proceeded to my brother’s room so I could use his desktop PC to LoL. The rest of the kids set up their laptops, and we started hardcore nerding out. Two of the dudes were so fucking wasted by then, and an epic picture of the night was taken:
The middle dude was so mad pissed when he saw this he was like “fkQ guys, this is not funny at all especially since [my name] ACTUALLY is gay” Hahahah
Another dude dragon-vommed all over my brother’s bathroom door, bathroom mirror, bathroom floor, and all over the other passed out dude on the ground with dolla bills all over him. NONE OF US KNEW because we were so engrossed in our game can you believe it??? Only until the smell assaulted our nostrils did we turn around. One dude also kicked my brother’s Ducati motorbike poster and the frame broke. Dude. The frame’s custom-made and costs 200$!! After cleaning up the shit, I told the guy to take a shower, and half of them passed out in my brother’s room, the other half in the movie room, and I went back to my room and FaceTimed Dutchie. I was pretty drunk by then and I was talking to him completely naked, and after a while again I found myself jerking off in front of the cam for him…Hahaha, I know, I’m suchhh an exhibitionist. He liked it a lot though, the connection was bad and we disconnected twice, and he immediately called me back and was like, “Oh good you’re back on.” I really get so turned on when people are turned on! After busting, all my energy was expended and I almost fell asleep with the cum all over me hahaha. I showered, woke up the next day, woke the rest of the fellas up, and I rushed to the airport. It’s time for Hong Kong!