I "chucked a sickie" today!!! (Chucked a sickie means call in sick, Aussie taught me that) Well, woke up feeling like total shit, congested, coughing, all kinds of nasty shit. Sent an email to my boss, whatever. Slept the entire day, now I feel a lot better!!!
So let me get on with my story-telling. On Saturday, I met up with two of my best friends from high school. In high school, I pretty much only made female friends. I was in a really weird place back then, insecure that I could hang out with straight guys. These two girls were awesome though, and kept me sane. This was the first time I was meeting up with C, who's back for a coupla days before returning to Sydney to like, do her doctor shit or something.
Drove out to pick em up, went over to this mall they suggested for dinner. The mall's right beside the hotel where I slept over at Aussie's room, aww brought back fond memories. Over delicious thin-crust pizzas, I began telling them a bit about how my gay experience has been so far. C said that I have this newfound no-holds-barred honesty, where now that I'm out I can't lie about anything. When I picked her up, I was like, "yo you look mad tired." She was visibly annoyed by my remark, so when we got out of the car, I tried to ameliorate the situation by going "Oh it was just the lighting just now! You look like an Asian Lana Del Rey!" She lol-ed and things were good again. Le sigh, WOMEN>>>>>.....
ANYYWAAAYYY, so we head over to this new hip "Japanese-themed" basement amalgamated club/bar/restaurant, and it was incredibly empty when we got there at 11. Two models came up to us and took polaroids of us and gave them to us. I looked around and the place seemed kinda cool, although strangely, it resembled a lot of the bars that I've seen in Shanghai, which come to think of it...are just regular bars anyway. Not gonna bore you guys, but basically this place was extremely boring, because the music was way way too loungey, but they had these strobe lights and fog machines, and girls in tight dresses draped over lascivious-looking men. However, Sunday nights at this place is gay night, and I'm deffo checking it out one of these Sundays, because there were already quite a lot of pretty boys on a Saturday night.
We were just about to leave, when I see P, this Canadian guy I met a couple weeks back at a hotel suite party, and he was really drunk and told me he was "sometimes bisexual," and I asked if I could kiss him, and he said sure, so we made out on the bed in front of everyone hahaha. At first I wasn't sure if I should say hi, because he didn't reply any of my texts or Facebook messages (which were more like "yo dude wassup"), but after a while I stood up and said hi. He remembers me, which is good I guess, and he's with this other Taiwanese chick, J, who I've met before.
Okay, so I don't really like calling people by their initials. Just gonna name people by their nationalities.
So Canadian dude was with a bunch of other exchange kids, and they were heading off to 7-11 to buy a couple beers since the club was mad expensive and the atmosphere was kinda meh. I asked my two high school friends if they wanted to come along, but they politely declined and wanted to stay back on the couches. So I headed off with them, and casually mentioned to the Canadian dude if he received my texts or whether he changed numbers. Dude is wearing a vest. He tells me "oh my phone's shitty, don't really check it." Yeah..okay. We catch up for a bit, he's a real chill guy, there was also a Scandinavian girl, a Chinese girl, an a Canadian-American Guido (CAG) for short. This dude dresses straight up like a tool, pink oxford with so many buttons unbuttoned his cleavage was showing and his chest was bulging out from the sides, along with two bling earrings. My HS friends were like, "his chest is just screaming to be squeezed" lmao. There's a fine line I realized, between dressing like a tool and dressing like a Muscle Mary. He was dangerously walking along that line.
They were telling me how they're kinda bored by the club, and want to head somewhere else. I told them I was actually gonna go to a gay bar after, but I wasn't sure if they wanted to come. CAG was immediately kind of wtf? gay bar?, but the girls seemed pretty up for it, since they just wanted to dance. Canadian dude was like, yeah sure why not. Also, this is how I'm basically handling the whole telling new people I meet I'm gay thing. In fact it's actually a lot easier than with old friends. Most people are super chill with it too.
We head back to the club to get my car from the valet, and my two HS friends said they weren't joining us. I pleaded with them to join us, but they said they were really tired and we'll go another time...I started feeling pretty sad. I used to be so, so close to these girls. It got me thinking if I've just become so distant to most of my old friends. I think a lot of my old friends don't exactly "recognize" me anymore...but I honestly feel that I'm still the same person, just that now I hang out with a lot more international people, and that I really enjoy partying (never really did back in HS). I guess friends really do come and go, but it's just really sad that I no longer feel as close to these people anymore, when back then I really thought we were gonna be friends forever.
Drove the whole gang to the gay bar. I've realized I'm probably the only person in the gay scene that brings SO many straight people with me all the time. Like even the girls are not fag hags. We share a jug of their strongest spirits, chug a lil, the girls got tipsy really fast, and then we headed down to the dance floor. Music was great as usual, Canadian was really going at it dancing. The girls were having a good time too (yes...wow, I collectively refer to the whole bevy of them as "the girls" but honestly yeah lol girls mean very little to me), but CAG was really awkward. He went to the bathroom, and had to do a whole "brace myself" routine, and when he came back he was like, "Don't worry guys! I survived, I survived!" Was kinda annoyed because he's definitely homophobic/insecure of himself, even though he kept telling me that he goes to gay bars all the time back in Toronto as his best friend is gay. He did ask me if I'm gay just to make sure, and I confirmed it and we went back to dancing.
Once again, I'm entirely sober. I'm kinda liking remembering my nights though, albeit how uneventful they all turn out now. With sober goggles, I am also no longer intoxicated by the attention I get from guys around me. There was a group of Thai guys that kept toasting me, and getting me to talk to them. One of them lifted my shirt up from the back and wiped my sweat (I sweat a lot I hate the weather here), and whispered in my ear "You're really hot and sweaty." UHHH, what the fuck lmao. As I was going to the bathroom, I see a group of girls sitting at the table closest to the bathroom, and one of them starts dirty dancing and grinding her ass on me. Everyone cheers, and I oblige for a lil, and we all start talking. It's one of the girl's bachelorette party, and they decided to go wild by...going to a gay bar? Okay! Everyone cheers me on to give the bride-to-be a kiss on the lips, but she was so awk about it so I just kissed her on the cheek. Honestly, I was prepared to give her tongue and all ehehehe. Some girl asks if I'm gay, I say yes, and she's like "We welcome all kinds of people, gay, straight, bi, transexual, anything!" Hahah, fun group. I get a couple of swigs of their booze, and this other attractive guy comes and also joins in for a bit. I didn't stay to talk to him though, because he was accompanied by an old guy who came over and started caressing my hands and tried to stick his hand down my ass...
There was also another guy as I was going down the stairs who kept giving me a lascivious look. Holy fuck. I hope that I did not make out with this dude because guy is clearly AT THE VERY LEAST 65 years old. Motherfucking hell!!! I go back to the group, and I see the Arab guy AGAIN. He is in the corner making out with this Asian guy against the wall, and he sees me and gives me a smug look. I give him a "The Rock" jabroni look, and went back to my friends. As he walks by, he does the same "You're trouble..." shit, and I pull him over and tell him, "You think you're the shit for hooking up with a different guy every night you're here prowling for some new meat, I think you're really pathetic though" He was at a loss for words, and I turned around back to the group.
We then see this guy that I remember seeing from the club we were just at before. My HS friends pointed him out to me telling me that he was going over his head by trying to mack on the models of the club, but I told them immediately that no, he's gay. They were like, wait what??? How is your gaydar that strong? I told them to look at the way he kinda juts his butt out like a "bottom" hahaha, and how he swishes his hair a bit. I pointed the guy out to the group, and the TW chick was like, yo isn't that the Polish guy we met at this bar a few days ago?? I look closer, and I was like, holy shit! It is him. She goes up and says hi, he comes over and says hi, he remembers us, we talk for a bit, and after that he leaves. Okay. He is really feminine hahaha, kind of funny how I knew he was gay though even before I heard him talk..
The group gets pretty bored, so we walk to the outdoor courtyard. There, I see this really insanely adorable Latino, who's honestly as cute as button! He's WAY tiny, like probably 5'3", has extremely nice eyes, and a cheeky smile, just like mine. He's really feminine, but more in a spritely adolescent boy kind of way. Honestly, I just felt he was really cute and I was developing a small crush on him. The Taiwanese chick told me "Omg!!! He's really cute!!! I'm gonna tap him for you" I said no, but she goes ahead. Immediately, his entire group of guys stare her down, like it was an intense "move bitch, get outta way" stare, and TW chick and I get really intimidated and backed off, stat. Holy cow!!! Some gay people are honestly so scary!
So we leave, and I realized how uneventful the entire night was. Now that I'm sober, I haven't been making out with anyone at all. No drunken mackin' dudes up too. We sat outside and talked for a bit, CAG was giving me shit for having no balls and being a pussy for not talking to the cute Latino kid. I then show them my Jackd account..and said that I've actually spoken to him on Jackd and he was like "say hi the next time you see me in (the gay bar)." CAG and TW chick went ballistic and were like "Wtf dude!!! Yousa dumb-ass bitch! You betta say hi the next time" I laugh sheepishly, and nodded my head, but it's really strange how I get super nervous talking to guys that I'm actually interested in. And it's really interesting to me, because I keep thinking that I have a "type," but honestly, I don't even "know" me, since it seems that the people I'm interested in are so varied. My first romance was with a typical basketball Asian jock dude, then it was with a bipolar Mexican-American stoner/hipster, now I like floral-wearing film-major Dutchie, and lastly this adorable girly Venezuelan smurf constantly protected by a harem of bitchy Asian bodyguards.
I went back, crashed, woke up at 5 am, really aching for someone to wake up to in the morning...:o( I don't know why I keep returning to the gay bar when honestly everyone's soo old. I really want a boyfriend, someone around my age. On Monday I headed over to Dutchie's dorm, and caught up with a couple of the kids there. Everyone's leaving soon...
Dutchie leaves May 15th. We headed out to a part of the city he hasn't been before, and we had Italian there. I had extremely delish duck breast, and he had really bland spaghetti with Wagyu meatballs. He hated it. I started talking with heavy subtexts everywhere. I told him that I guess he tends to gravitate to something familiar and boring, and that the word Wagyu made him feel like he was getting something better even though it's processed into meatballs so you won't taste shit. I told him that he made a wrong choice, and that he shouldn't force himself to go through with it just because he feels bad that he already ordered it. Hahaha. He knew I was being cheeky. I told him we could still salvage the situation though, by ending it there and then and heading over to have some delicious ice cream at Ben & Jerry's. I asked him if he wanted to have some sweet BJ to wash down the boring pasta he just had...wahahhaa.
It was a great night really. My mom sent the family (on Whatsapp) pictures of me and the sibs as kids. We shared a waffle with Chunky Monkey and Clusterfluff (these are B&J flavors fyi) while I showed them to Dutchie. As I drove him home, I asked if we could hang out all the time before he goes back to the Dam in 7 days, and he agreed. I also asked if I could hold his hand, and he said yes. So I drove back to his dorm driving with just one hand, the other holding his hand, and it felt so right. He hugged me before he went back up, and I gave him a kiss on his cheek. Haha. He told me that I was being cheeky again. I can't help it!!
This time however, I'm really just having fun. I'm not going to fool myself into thinking he's actually going to break up with his boyfriend (who's Dutch-Indonesian mixed), but I still really enjoy his company. We might be baking my mom a cheesecake on Saturday for Mother's Day soon. I'm excited for that. Was gonna have dinner with him tonight, but I'm still real lethargic from being ill so I'll do a rain check instead.
Here is a picture of me as a toddler: