Saturday, May 11, 2013

Navigating Jackd - a more proactive approach

So I've decided to be more proactive on Jackd. In the past, I actively messaged very few people, viewed very few profiles, and replied very few people. I'll be honest, I narrowed my scope down way too much. Basically I only messaged the hottest of the hottest, and yes, unfortunately, I filtered out the Asians - really only because most Asians in Asia will definitely just be too Asianized for me. I have a feeling however many of the "hot" profiles are either fake profiles, or are doing it just for an ego-boost kinda thing. It's totally understandable though, it definitely felt strangely like an accomplishment to collect as many unopened messages as possible, in a bid to be all like 'Yes, I rejected all these people. Suck it mofos', so I can understand why many snubbed me too. However, as I have recently came to the conclusion that it is futile limiting myself to just the Western/westernized community in my country since almost all are either old, ugly, femme, or a combination of all of the above (no offense to any race but seriously it's just how it is because very few young foreigners would be able to get a job over here and afford the living expenses), and that many have a very strange "yellow fever" "I want a twinky Asian bottom" fetish, I decided to reach out more to the attractive locals over here, and reply to more messages.

The results have been great so far! I have somehow received a lot more messages from less creepy people, more people around my age, and seriously from rather attractive dudes! Also seriously what? So many gay people have insanely tight bodies. I posted up my blogger pic as my main Jackd profile picture, along with a rather bad picture and a gratuitous torso shot. Speaking of which,

LOLWTF? Hilarious!!! Too slutty for gay eyes?! Bullshit bro. Can't believe this happened...oh boy.

Anyway yeah, so I've been keeping in contact with a couple peeps. Most of the time, one of us would propose continuing the conversation over on Whatsapp or Line (Dude. I love Line. Have I mentioned this before? Aussie loved it, and he got me hooked) So far I've been in contact with a few pretty cool dudes. These range from people that I've definitely friendzoned, to those that might turn out to be something. All however, have their last names saved as Jackd on my iPhone haha. 

1. In the friendzone, I have an Indian friend who has a boyfriend anyway, but does talk to me quite a bit about random things really. He's a chill guy, pretty decent-looking actually, but I've spoken to him on the phone and there definitely is a feminine affectation in his speech pattern.He did say he would like to meet up some time, but just to be on the safe side, I told him sure, invite your boyfriend along too. 

2. There is also a doctor dude who I think is pretty into me...he checks in on me every few hours, and compliments me quite a lot. Nice kid, albeit a lil boring. He asked me if I wanted to go to a gay club tonight, I might go, haven't decided on it yet. There's also another dude who also still talks to me even though he recently got attached...I don't get what is up with these taken dudes who still wanna play the field?? Also, no, he is not attractive haha, and frankly kinda whiney I haven't talked to him in a while. 

3. There's also an Asian American bi kid in Michigan who viewed my profile and we got to talking. He's a cool dude, we talk openly about sex quite a lot hahaha, especially about the difference between having sex with a girl and guy. He also told me that he prefers "westernized" guys, mostly whites and Asian Americans to narrow it down. I feel the same way too. I use the word "westernized" very loosely btw, basically I think we're just referring to a more chill, more liberal/open-minded, fun-loving people. Asian culture is so serious!!! I also think he's a good-looking dude ;) Too bad he's gonna be in SF the week I'm gonna be in Chicago :o(

4. And then there's this local kid who's in Australia right now for university, and he messaged me. He isn't very striking appearance-wise, but he seems like a genuine kid so I decided to be nice and keep the banter going. Ended up talking more over Line, and he was being pretty cheeky and wanting to hear more of my hook-up stories etc. I was also telling him things about how I'm kinda disenchanted by the corporate environment, as many seem so bored with their lives, and yet so content with how boring and impossibly mediocre their lives are, and he was talking about how maybe it's easier to be contented if one is ignorant. I told him about how my brother once dated this girl who worked as a nurse and was from a grimmer social background. She used to be this happy-go-lucky girl, until my brother started introducing her to parts of our lives, and she started feeling really jealous and dissatisfied with her life. She became really clingy and possessive, and finally my brother broke up with her, and...basically it was a mess. 

A few days ago I mentioned how my mom sent over pictures of us as kids. There was one picture that had my mom, my sibs, and I all together like a totem pole, and our smiles were incredibly genuine. And my mom looked incredibly beautiful in that picture. It was like pure simple happiness captured in one perfect moment. I sent the picture over to the kid over Line and told him that I was gonna put it as my Facebook profile picture in commemoration of Mother's Day. He was like, "man what a great picture!" yaddyadda.

A few hours after I posted it up on Facebook, he told me he was gonna call me. It sounded urgent. He asked me, "Are you [my brother's name]'s brother?" I was like, "uhh...okay this is kinda creepy." Turns out because I tagged my brother in the picture, it popped up on his newsfeed...because this dude was my brother's buddy back when they were both in the Air Force together. He has also met my brother's ex-girlfriend, and has also been over to my place multiple times to hang. What the fuck. LOL. I've not met him before because I was in the states most of the time, but seriously what??? He said, "Wow. Now I know a lot about both your and your brother's sex lives." Lawl. It was very strange. Also, he's not out to my brother at all. However, my brother did tell him that I came out to him and the family. I asked the kid what was my brother's reaction when he told him that? He said, "That's all really. He just said it as a fact, and then went on to talk about other things." I smiled. I'm happy that my brother feels comfortable enough to tell his friends that I'm gay, without feeling ashamed about it. Good guy really. I miss him.

So yeah, that was pretty mind-blowing. Now! On to the non-friendzoned dudes. 

5. I've been keeping in contact with a very curious bunch of people really. There's a 20-year-old white dude from Michigan who moved over for university since his dad works here now. He's some sort of small-time model or something, he showed me a few of the magazine spreads that he's been um okay. His sister also knows a few of the strippers of the Australian "Bad Boys" personally. Hahahaha. I asked if he would like to meet up some time, and he was like, yeah sure why not. But so far I haven't really asked him because although he's an attractive, pretty tall guy, but he just broke up with his ex-dude and I think he's kinda like, withdrawn or something. Also he's young...

6. There's a 19-year-old Scottish-Malay-Chinese-Aussie mixed kid that I've been talking with too. Dude's genes are mad exotic. He's in school doing I have no clue what, but he has been busy with "immunology practical and aquaculture and marine biology" (verbatim) and thus I haven't really been talking to him much though he's a cool guy/nerd. He's also really young and what the what, shorter than me, but I can deal with that, just like with the adorable cute-as-a-button Latino guy I previously mentioned. But yeah, doubt anything's gonna come out from this but he has a mad cool name. 

7. A 21-year-old cute Chinese guy with really nice kissable lips, but this guy is clearly very self-absorbed, and asked me to add him on Facebook within like the first three sentences we exchanged on Whatsapp. I checked it out, and found out that he's also a catalog model (what is up with all these small-time models??) and frequently posts selfies of him pouting on his bed alone with like, 200 likes on it or something, and people saying "oMG~~ please let me share the bed with yoouuuu" so I was like fuck that! Not adding you, you attention whore. Actually, this dude is totally non-zoned, he's out of the question.

8. A 25-year-old Chinese-Brazilian guy from Florida, who...guess what. Is here to model too. Wow. He's a swimwear/fashion runway model, and he sent me one of his editorials of him modeling what is definitely a gay underwear brand hahah, judging from how he is seductively eating a popsicle while perking his butt out. Dude is good-looking, has a few tattoos, and has only been in my country for a week! I offered to show him around and he took up my offer, but he doesn't have 3G, and for some reason he hasn't logged in for 21 hours so...idk. This dude right here is actually pretty hot and tall, would love to meet up with him yo. Hopefully he isn't gonna snub me!

9. A 25-year-old decent-looking Malay-Chinese guy who works really near my workplace, and who has amazing amazing pecs??? Like I just wanna squeeze em haha. He works as events planner or something?? He is busy as hell though, having a few projects here and there. Told him we could have lunch some time and he agreed. Also tried persuading him to sign up for the gym in our building so we could work out together ehehe. We bonded over the fact that we kind of only like...straight guys, basically gay-bros. Today he asked me if I'd like to go to a Fashion Week, or if it's too "faggy" for me, and I told him that I actually have an invite for a Fashion Week after-party next weekend, and I was thinking of checking it out. He told me that today's my lucky day, because he could get me and a friend on the guestlist. Turns out he co-owns a local designer label here, and the spring/summer collection's gonna be at the Fashion Week so he's gonna be backstage and everything. Dude. This is insanely cool. I checked out a few of his designs on Facebook, the designs are actually pretty clutch!! Like really avant-garde. I'll link a picture here:

Man, look at that! So I think next weekend I'll be hitting up the Fashion Week in the afternoon, and the after-party too. Funny thing is I haven't even met up with this guy physically. 

Altogether though, I'm not convinced any of these will actually turn out to be something else other than just cyber friends. Still, it's great to have people to message to daily, in fact rather comforting. However, I still only fancy Dutchie...shit happened last night again, but I'm way too tired to explain it. He's leaving in 4 days, I don't even know why I care.

This is one of the most classic scenes that I remember from the O.C. The O.C. was the first TV show to introduce me to the world of indie music, and it changed the way I thought about music after that. Now I always sort music into different moods, and think of songs to perfectly fit scenarios. It also taught me a lot about bratty, teenage love, something that I fiercely lived vicariously through since I repressed my romantic interest in men for a very long time. 

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