Friday, June 14, 2013

Blistering barnacles

My last few days at work were really bad, since I got blindsided with some kind of performance review and was told to make a cashflow + results presentation for a pipeline asset and I was like, uhm. I have no clue. I got ripped apart, and I got snarky during the reprimanding and said things I shouldn't have said. Then I got sad because they made it sound like I learned nothing in 3 months and was gonna jet off for a 5 week holiday that I didn't deserve (the only reason why I pulled this off is because the CIO and my dad are friends so he gave me the go-ahed) and I started missing S...:o(

I made amends today and apologized to the two managers (who are like my buddies) and they basically told me that I need to kind of "act" like I'm really into this shit by staying back later than my boss, and coming in earlier, or asking a shit ton of questions. I forgot the Asian way of doing things, but asking questions? That's so not possible when my boss says she's always "approachable" and there isn't any "hierarchy" but then denigrates me to the level of vermin when I don't know what's going on. 

This is why I should find my own jobs instead of relying on my dad, things become way too complicated. I've learned a bit working for a local company so far, but honestly, I need to either eventually move to an MNC, or move to another country. I prefer the first option, as I actually really do like my country in many ways. 

I have been wracking my brains trying to figure out where to travel to in Europe. I kind of feel like I probably should have chosen to do a US grad trip instead, in the West Coast, because it'll be much easier to decide really, plus I'll have plenty friends to visit in their hometowns. But then again...doesn't sound as exciting as my potential plans of visiting Lisbon, Sintra, Porto, and maybe even Seville, Granada, and Malaga. It's so hard planning the cheapest route, balancing bus/train/plane and everything and I'm about to just say fuck it! I also packed a bit of my suitcase last night and damn I realize S was right, I do have very boring clothes...I'm bringing a white tee and a white polo, a purple tee and a purple polo, a red tee and a red polo...Everything I have are made of only the very basic of colors with no patterns and shit. Now that I don't care about being labeled as gay I'm gonna be buying clothes that have a lil more design to them, like patterned shorts and shirts. I always tend to keep things basic, but floral stuff would be nice for the summer. Shall buy 'em when I get to Chicago/NYC/London.

I'm really excited for Lisbon's gay parties. Holy shit, Portuguese men?? Hell fucken yeah baby! Hehehe.

Holy shit. Team secretary just sent out an email to the team:

"Dear All,

[kenn-do] is on leave from 17 June to 19 July.

[My boss] is on leave on 17 June & 24 June.

[My other boss] is on leave on 24 June.


O_O I worked 10 weeks and took 5 weeks off. Seriously, how am I supposed to survive in the real world? I have way too many firstworldproblems


  1. OMG! What kind of company allows you to take off for half the time you have been there? I guess it would be OK if you negotiated that before you started and took off time without pay. Most places in the US would not allow this. You really are ballsy. :-)

    If you want to be taken seriously as a professional, you need to make the efforts so people respect you and have your back. There is time for play and time for work.

    1. I know, I'm a piece of shit lol. It's for my graduation though so they knew I was going to leave for a while but I didn't tell them I wanted five weeks off. And yeah...if only I gave more of a shit about my completely boring job...

    2. oh and yeah it's no-pay leave

    3. So what is it about your job you find boring? Is it the field itself? The company? The position?

    4. I can't possibly stare at cashflows all day. that's literally what i do, look at numbers, and come up with results based on them to see if they meet our company's cap rate/WACC/etc it's killing meeeee i need to talk to peopleeeee

    5. I don't know if i shared this with you, but I'm a CPA so I do accounting and financial reporting, so I work with numbers all day long, but there is a lot of interaction with people throughout the day. For one 15 month period, I had a position administering executive compensation (salaries, bonus, incentives, perks, exec benefits), which I hated because it was a thankless task but part of the reason I did not like it was I has to work basically by myself -- my interaction with people during the day was with whiny, overpaid executives, trying to game the system so they got their bonus. So I kinda know where you are coming from having little interaction during work. But there must be some people you work with -- so couldn't you get your people need met thru that?

      I was thinking, you need to be in a more creative environment. Maybe gay porn? You get lots of exposure, meet a lot of people, visit a lot of places. Come to the US, they would love some asian star. It would be cheeky king shows off his butt cheeks. :-)

    6. a friend and i were talking about how we should invest in really good cameras, and just film gay porn. but starring in one?? i'm honestly nowhere hot enough.

      and hahaha nooo i don't like my butt at all

    7. It would not matter how hot you were, just the fact that Americans could see an asian gay porn star is enough to build a following. Of course, your parents would probably disown you if they found out, but hookup with a nice rice queen sugar daddy, and you got it made, no more cashflow projections.