Things have been VERY strange lol. But fun. But don't worry, I haven't gotten my head deep into this at all. I'm safe guys, I'm safe!!!
So I went with N (ISAD guy, decided to give him an initial instead), to his company's family day event. I had no clue that his company was actually pretty big, so the family day was a big affair with bouncy castles, electric bulls, and all sorts of food. It was in this really pretty garden called the Inner Temple Gardens. I had so much fun. He introduced me to his colleagues, including his rice queen French boss, we drank loads of wine, took silly pictures with silly prop hats they provided, and actually kissed quite a bit in public...for family day that was kinda weird. He loves to PDA. He tells me he has never done this with any of his exes, but me. We even went in the bouncy castle for a bit and grabbed each other's cocks for a bit lolll
Then we went over to Hyde Park with a picnic mat and slept there together. After that we had dinner at this gimmicky Asian restaurant that had projectors and everything onto the table, and he paid for the meal (72 quid, ain't cheap...) even though I vehemently told him to split it.
Basically, after that, he has been sleeping over at my place almost every single day. We have been sleeping so little, since he keeps wanting to cuddle and shit, so I have been ill with a viral sore throat and shit. London is also super warm right now. We have hung out almost every day, and bit by bit, he has told me about his ludicrous life, and I have met his friends. We had another picnic at Hyde Park with this absolute Italian bombshell colleague of his, and this other Asian girl from my country who also knows my sister. This is why I avoided studying in London, teeming with Asians from my country here! It's so difficult to start afresh.
I don't even really remember what we did. But most of the time, he would tell me about things about his family. His dad sounds like he has a mental condition. Apparently he believes in the make-or-break thing, and thus is leaving N to make it by himself, or break down completely. Now he helps out paying the bills around the house, after his dad divorced his mom. It's weird. His dad has also always been really hard on him, just like mine has. And N has said so many things to me, that has made me extremely uneasy, because it brings back the ghost of S.
A few nights ago we decided to stay in instead, after failing to go to a gay bar with a double-date (his Asian best friend and his 35-year-old date...holy shit that's old!!!), and we decided to watch Anastasia since we were talking about Disney films (I know, Anastasia ain't Disney), and I was telling him how back in kindergarten I wore a seahorse costume as the emcee for our Little Mermaid theme and had to sing "Under the Sea" and shit hahaha, and he said his favorite song was from Anastasia, and I sang the song I guessed was his favorite, and it really was. Not difficult I guess.
I love this song. It's haunting and so epic. And it really reminds me of the magical age of my childhood. I'm so glad I'm a twenty-ish year-old guy that managed to still watch all these great cartoon films when I was a kid. I think it's incredibly weird if I grew up in the late 90's or 00's where I had to watch movies like Cars or whatever, it has lost a certain magical touch.
We took a really long time before we actually got down to watching it, because we first tried having sex (lol), then gave up, then he started talking a bit more about his dad again, and then I asked him, out of the blue, what he whispered to me at the park during the Family Day event, and he told me it doesn't matter. After more prodding, he told me, tears rolling down his eyes, that he thinks he is falling for me.
Poor boy. Really. It feels awfully suspect I know, within such a short period of time, but he really does seem genuine. But honestly, I like him, but I don't have feelings for him, so this time I am completely safe. And really, it reminds me so much of the whole S situation, and it pained me a little, to realize that N is the then me, and I'm now S in this case. He has talked about how he hates London, and wants to move to a country far away from his parents, and have been thinking about...my country or Hong Kong. And he said this has been set in motion way before I came into the picture.
He cried so much. Poor boy. All I could do was to tell him he's such a sweetheart. He grew jittery the next day and asked me how I felt about him etc, since I seemed a little emotionally distant. I was very honest with him, and told him I like him, but I don't think I have developed feelings for him as the time is way too short. Also, I cannot promise him anything because even if he does move to my country, how can we be sure we will feel the same? After telling him all that, I realized I was a complete fool with S too, because all the reasons I cited were probably the same reasons he was thinking about. I told S that he could come to my country to find work, but yeah, what if we don't feel the same way anymore?
Anyhow, N has basically become my weeklong boyfriend. It is kinda funny, kinda heartbreaking, and also just kinda nice. He showers me with so much attention. It is quite a good feeling not gonna lie. I slept over at his place last night after we had dinner with (ugh what a weird group of friends), a friend of mine that I have not caught up with for a very long time because a few years ago he was staying at my place in Hong Kong and I was a young and vile brat, and told him that he is "of no use to me in the future," and he equally childishly moved out in the middle of the night; N, and this girl friend of his who's a fellow "model" or whatever who became slightly obsessed with him and then went ballistic thinking she was being played when he told her that he's actually gay and that he's been hanging out with me. However, things were all pretty civil. She wasn't mean to me or anything, in fact she told me a lot of things about how N told her that he doesn't think he can find anyone else like me, because I'm really special to him (I said that about S too to R...), etc. Then we all went out to three gay bars after, and it was a lot of fun. N and I basically walk in these places and start making light-hearted fun of the campy queens around us (no real hate though), and we both put on our best "OMG sassy bitchesssss" twerking poses and shit it's hilarious, and then after that we would like make out for 10 seconds to which my friend would go "ahem hi guise I'm still here" hahaha.
I do however have many reservations about him still. Firstly, he is young and immature. He's 21, and the way he talks about a lot of things reflect a certain lack of maturity. It is very obvious to me. Secondly, I am still not exactly certain if I am attracted to him physically. He is certainly not ugly at all; in fact he has many suitors, but I think it's his immature mannerisms that make me feel he's not really a man but still a boy. Maybe he'll grow into things a couple years later. He's also terribly skinny; and though he has a six pack and everything he's still really skinny because he's so tall. He has 2% body fat for a 6'2" frame!!! Thirdly, he is equally as arrogant as me, however just like me and S, both of us who also had really strong personalities, I gave in most of the time to S, and N gives in most of the time to me.
This is on his bedroom door...what a straight guy lol...
Oh and yeah, my results came back, I am clean!!! FUCK YEAH BABY I can bang errbody now. Kidding. My manwhore phase is honestly pretty much over, my boner has been mad chilled yo. Or maybe it's because I've been hooking up with N so much anyway...there was once he busted all over my chest and it was the biggest load I have ever seen in my life. There was seriously so much. Stuff was on my chin, my arms, even a bit on my hair. Today I also busted in his mouth while face-fucking him while looking in the mirror (Holy fuck I am an American Psycho) and he swallowed my load whuttttt. I've never even done that haha (neither has he).
He also showed me pics of his exes, or people he used to hook up with...holy fucking mackerel??? They are literally all six-pack god-like models. He said he met them all through modeling. OMFG. They are seriously super hot, it made me wince a little like "fuck why can't N be as hot as them" hahaha. When I told him that it's kinda ego-crushing to try and compete with that, he told me "well sue me if I've decided that personality is way hotter than looks!" And I guess that's true...my personality is maaad fucken sexy bro. Grarrrll...I'm a feral tigah yo.
These are purportedly his exes, with heads cut-off for identity protection purposes d'oh. Although...if you email me I can show you their faces hahaha.
Yo wtf right?? Damn dude...I need to hit the gym :/
Anyway, that's basically it. It has also been very nice catching up with my other friends, all of whom tell me that my sassy gay bitch impersonation is ace (I might wanna make a video some time and omg, yall gonna lurvvv it babes!!!) and I also met up with my really ridiculously hot English friend who I went prawning with a few months ago, UGH y he so sexy but straight??? One of the many mysteries of life...
Tonight is R and my last night in London. Sadly, it's only a Thursday night, so things prob ain't gonna go too crazy, but it'll still be fun I think. I am actually mad exhausted because I haven't been sleeping much and been going out every night, but everything will blow over when I snap back to reality, OH there goes gravity, OH there goes rabbit he choked!