Friday, July 5, 2013

Perks of being a grindrflower

WAZZUP FELLOW BROMOS??

I'm in Lisbon now, after a smashingly awesome time in Seville. I am so in love with how slow and relaxing everything is. There is such a quaint and awesome old town appeal as my friend Y and I walked everywhere on the brick paths. Definitely can't see myself living in such a place forever since their inefficiencies have led to Spain being a fucking brokeassbitch but still, lovely place.

So I'm traveling with my best friend from college. She's an amazing and tiny Asian girl from my motherland and we bonded so well together loads of people thought we were dating haha. We have been eating really cheap and good tapas along with getting judged constantly for drinking a bottle of wine for every meal lol. I haven't seen her for a while because she's studying in Paris, so it's been great catching up with her.

She's also really annoyed with me. I couldn't stop drooling at all the fucking gorgeous spaniards around me, with their dark brooding eyes and lean and toned statures (many of them ain't that tall at all, southern spaniards that is) and she was like, yo I can't have a normal conversation with you. Oops... She's also kinda jealous about the perks of grindr, although she told me she probably wouldn't meet up with a strange man but as a guy I can do that.

I hooked up with three dudes in Seville. It was pretty fucking fun. First dude was great, a 21 year old blonde hair blue eyed Mexican, because of German colonialism or something. We walked around Seville for about an hour, trying to communicate through very broken English (no one in Spain speaks English wtf), and we finally sat down in Starbucks and made out on the couches. Whuttt PDA? Hell yeah bro love that shit haha. Then we went over to a bathroom and made out a lot more and yo... mad thick burrito lmao. It was fun.

Second dude was fucking bad because he turned out to be really short and kinda effeminate and it was so sketchy I can't believe I went with it and bottomed again (condom this time). I fucking got into his car, this 29 year old garden gnome, and I was sketched out because he drove me out to some fucking dark park with no one around except other cars coming over also presumably to have gay sex too. I'm like fuck bro this is sketchballs!!! But I was completely under his control since he drove me out to god knows where and I didn't know how to get back so I had to go with it...which I've learned now, never go into a strangers car. Momma was right. No matter if the dude ain't sketch or what (he wasn't sketchy like I said he was a harmless garden gnome) but still it cheapens the whole thing. Car sex that is. Especially since I hardly talked to him at all (didn't have the time or opportunity) so we just went straight for it in complete darkness. And that's the thing I've learned too, I hate having sex in the dark. It's dumb, I wanna see who I'm with not make it some illicit affair. I tried topping him first, but I just got soft immediately when I was supposed to slide it up in him. But when he was sucking me off I would get rock hard again. So I'm really confused by my weiner, I think it doesn't like topping at all. Probably because I think buttholes are really gross and I don't want to go near there at all. Then he fingered me while I was going down on me, and he told me he had three fingers up my butt. I was really uncomfortable by the fact that he thought it was okay to stick three fingers up my ass (now that is just bad manners) and by the fact that apparently my butthole is so elastic??? Holy broccoli... So he topped me, but dude was also fucking huge (idk what's up but all the guys I've been with are all monstrous) so I told him to go really slow and not all the way in. It was really dumb. Firstly we did it doggy style and I felt like a cheap whore so I told him I wanted to turn aroundddd floating, so high, we're off the groundddd, sorry I was singing a song in my head, but yeah, basically I was fucking soft the entire time and I felt absolutely no pleasure. What I've realized is I do not enjoy bottoming at all. It does nothing for me, other than the fact that I am turned on by the fact that the guy is so turned on by my butt but really, no prostate or whatever g spot shit. After a while I was like okay this fucking needs to stop, so I asked him if he was close, he wanted to cum in me I'm like fuck no, so I jizzed a huge load all over his chest and he was really turned on by that and shot like real far into his eyes and the side doors and shit. But I wasn't turned on at all. I just wanted him to drive me back to my hostel and for me to cleanse myself lol.

So yeah.  I have learned that I don't want to do that sketchy shit anymore, especially with older guys on grindr cos they're all sketchballs. Younger dudes are much much less sketchy and just down to have some nice fun.

I met up with a third guy, unnnffff he is so cute and scruffy. 21 too, like the first guy. He came over to a bar where Y and I were drinking, and he joined us for a beer. What a manly dude too. It was so funny and fun when Y and him bonded over France (he speaks French and is going to Lille for study abroad next year) and when she translated things when he couldn't express them in English. He told me he used to date a black guy from Florida (study abroad) and hence he some times have these finger snapping big booty bitch kind of hand actions lol awww what a cutie really. At first I really thought we were just grabbing a drink, since he told me he didn't want to hook up, and he talked a lot to Y so I thought he wasn't interested, but for some reason Y decided to leave to use wifi back at the hotel, and the second she left he told me he wanted to kiss me. The feral beast in me was unleashed and I leaned in real close to him, teasing him a lil, and so we went to the bathroom and made out like horny shagging rabbits. What a good kisser, so much better than the sketchballs dude who didn't know how to make out at all. I loved touching his facial hair too. The bathroom there was too small to do anything else, so I quickly got the check and we bounced back to my hostel. I saw Y there and she winked at me and told me she will just wait for me, and so the spaniard and I went up each floor to find a bathroom and we were just kissing each other as we walked up the stairs I was about to just rip his shorts out on the stairwell lol. We finally found a bathroom on the top floor and wasted no time and just went at each other. I had such a wild time with him. We quickly got undressed and hopped into the shower. This dude was also fucking huge!! Maybe it's because I'm Asian and I'm used to smaller appendages but yeah, this guy was big too. And also, I have a problem. I'm really good at deepthroating actually, and I fucking love doing it, but I can't control my gag reflex sometimes. And so this guy was super into how I could like take the whole thing down, that he started trying to facefuck me a lil, and I actually vommed. Holy cow. Like I actually threw up on the floor, and he was like "oh no!!!" And he got out of the shower and I was like, oops...my b. dude it was so gross lol, I had to wash it all down, and gargle my mouth for a bit, before we started making out again. This time I didn't take it all the way in anymore lol, man that was really some nasty shit. Then he wanted to fuck me, and so I turned around and he ate my ass and he loved it but I was like meh, ok I'm real turned on you're turned on I guess, and then he took a condom out and wanted to go into me, but when he went in, it hurt so so bad, so I told him okay no anal, and he was good with it so that was that. I sucked him off for a bit more, then he jerked himself off and jizzed into my mouth. He wanted to jizz into my mouth and its the first time ever that I've been okay with doing that because he was fucking gorgeous and such a sweetheart. Cum tastes really weird. It's super salty. Basically, I didn't swallow it or taste it much. I told him to use the shower hose and wash it out from my mouth haha. Then I asked if he wanted me to cum in his mouth and ok it's weird but I'm drawing a blank if I actually did. Lol. Anyway, so we washed ourselves up, I kissed him a couple times more and told him that he was beautiful, and awww he thinks I am too! lol. Then he left to meet his friends, and I smiled as I shook his hand and bade farewell.

I think I'm getting the hang of this yo. It's so much more fun if I actually talk and chill with the dude first before going all feral on each other. And I definitely prefer younger guys too. 

It's crazy I had so much action cos before I went over I checked jackd and there were so few people using jackd, so I thought it was a dud but dude...everyone's on grindr. Lol. So I decided to actually put up a face picture on grindr (I used to put a headless torso shot), and bam, so many messages a day! I guessed they wanted to add some sushi to their tapas haha, works for me bro, I wanted to chow down on some tapas anyway...hehehe. I've also realized it is perfectly possible for a gay dude to travel Europe alone because of jackd and grindr. You do meet a lot of people, and some guys are actually really fucking chill too. Like there's this dude that really wanted to meet up in Seville, but he was flying off the next morning and he stays with his parents (he told me this is Spain, we all live with our parents. Lol that's so Asian!!) so we couldn't meet, and I told him oh well I'm gonna be in Lisbon and then London and he's like wait, I'm going to be in London for 10 days so guess what, we are gonna meet up in London!! Which is awesome cos I have a place there too hehehe, since my family bought an apartment there for my sister, and she's gonna be in Croatia at that time so I've the whole pad to myself!!! Huzzah huzzah!!

Also, since my brain is weird and shit, I just want to talk about how comfortable my cole haan boat shoes have been. They are super awesome, with Nike air soles, and are so much more comfortable than my sperrys. Love my CH boats dude.

Alright Y is passed out on the couch now (we took an overnight bus to Lisbon) and I think I'm gonna wash up, find out what to do in Lisbon, and get some breakfast. Love and peace to all!

1 comment:

  1. You really like doing things in the bathroom. Wouldn't the bedroom be more comfortable? Or is the thrill of possibly being caught in the act part of the appeal?

    As for your sketchy guys, can't you meet them someplace out in public first rather than depend on them to drive you around? Plus you can always say no if you are not attracted to them.

    So far it seems to be a very interesting adventure.

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