Monday, August 5, 2013

Men in uniform

Sup dudes??? Can I just say that I am rather smiley because I've crossed the 10k pageview mark for my blog? Damn son!!! No more a weak bro, I'm with the BIG LEAGUE, BRAH. brah brah bras bras bras breast. mmm. mm. cock.

But seriously, kinda cool to know people read!

On to other stuff. I have really been slacking off at the gym and it's horrible. I don't think there has been any progress at all. I've changed to doing only incline barbell press, incline barbell fly, incline bench press, because I read online that incline is a lot better. I did a body composition thing, and I've 15% body fat, a basal metabolic rate of 1580 kcal, and a metabolic age of 18. N on the other hand, has 3% body fat, a basal metabolic rate of 2751 kcal, and a metabolic age of 8. Yes, 8. Kid you not. He is a fat-burning machine. Makes me feel fat...wurrrp.

I was calling N yesterday and he asked me to sing Lana Del Rey's Summertime Sadness for him. As gay as the whole thing was, it was quite fun lol. Then a bit of Maroon 5...I honestly love singing? I wished I pursued it a lot more professionally when I was younger. Now I'm old and useless, fuck this shit.

Anyway, back to my title. Wrrruuuughghhh. Currently, I am talking to a 19-year-old half-German half-Chinese conscripted officer from the army, and a 26-year-old South African pilot for a budget airline here. Both of them have them in uniforms in their Jack'd profile picture. First dude is adorable, and is extremely similar to me. He's like Asian but not really Asian (although he's more legit since he's actually only half-Asian), went to European school here all his life, and parties really hard with best franz Dom and Belvedere, and hangs out with gorgeous girls all the time (Dude. I do too.). He asked me to add him on Facebook so now we're FB friends and we're probably gonna go out on Friday, along with my "ex-summer fling" HK best-girlfriend (she came two weekends ago), and a closeted-but-most-definitely-gay Indonesian friend. And maybe a couple other young kids too. I think why I hang out with younger people is because fundamentally I just graduated from college and that makes me sort of 21-22. 

The second guy is an above-average-looking tall dude, who I've also had a good time talking with over Whatsapp. I am incredibly good at being cheeky btw. That's pretty much the only thing I'm good at. He asked for more pictures of me, and I showed him one where I was at a club with a few girl friends two weekends ago at the fancy-shmancy club, and he was like "party boi" and I told him that it was a weird night because I got drunk and I got horny but there wasn't any boy to hook up with, and he was like "Hmmm well darn it I should have been there" Dude, it's so easy really. Also, I use a lot of "hehehehe" which can either be interpreted to be that I am a pyschopathic megalomaniac, or a cheeky little monkey. We're getting drinks tonight. Woops. He even asked me if I wanted to go to Universal Studios with him.


The thing is, I've told both of these guys about N, although I told them we're not exactly exclusive since he's not here yet until October. I don't think I'll be doing anything with them, even though they're cute, because I really do just want to make friends since I really have no one here except visitors. However, I'm not sure if were I to get inebriated would I become a bit of a slut. Especially since these are men in uniform. Can I hear a..."woof." Ahhh...I would have to be upfront with N I think. I don't know. I didn't tell him that I recently jerked a huge load off onto my chest while Skyping another dude naked. Woops. Well, granted the other dude's camera was fucking grainy so I didn't see shit and it was mostly just me pleasuring myself pahaha. 

[edit: so just had an odd conversation with my friend R. Basically, Pilot Dude hooked up once with a mutual friend of R and mine, Campy Polish Dude, and so R met him before. I told Pilot Dude, for some reason (because I thought it didn't mean anything), that he didn't reply to me a long time ago and I assumed it was because he didn't like Asians since R told me so. Pilot Dude then told me that R was probably jealous, because R liked him too...along with Campy Polish Dude who Pilot Dude said he turned down, but actually CPD was in a serious relationship with this dude so turned PD down, and basically I realize everyone lies, and R told him PD is a dick, but honestly PD has been nice to me and I get it really, it's just how life works, so I'm not sure if this really makes PD a dick, or makes him just like me anyway, in the way that we're selective. But honestly, PD is pudgy. He has a belly and it is evident from his face pictures and so I doubt I would be attracted to him. Bellies are a fucking turn-off. Still meeting him though]

I also just had lunch at Menya Musashi (dude I've been to the one in Tokyo - purportedly the best ramen in Tokyo, and the outlet here is actually not too bad at all) with a fellow graduate of mine who went to international school here all throughout his life, and then went to Australia for university. He's also Taiwanese, so well, fyeahkinsmen. He definitely speaks with a slight Aussie twang, and he and I are the most similar in background amongst all the other fresh graduates. 


Basically, he is quitting next week. l m a o. He too, has had such a tough time adjusting to the local culture here that he is thinking of going back to Taipei or traveling the world for a bit. That's really the funny thing - you would think my country's the most westernized place to work at, but that's not true. Because everyone speaks English, any firm can afford to hire an average dude here. But in Hong Kong and Taipei, those that speak English have been educated abroad. Thus, aligning their interests with mine. This is fucking awesommmmm.

I'll quit after he quits. I have to give a speech tomorrow to the HR head or whatever fuck, along with the fellow trainees about my time here so far, and I have no speech. I'm just gonna wing it. Just be like, "yeah wasn't what I was expecting, which is good or bad depending on how you make of it." Lol. Or maybe I should give cryptic sappy inspirational quotes, like "well, as they say! There is no 'I' in team..." and give a pregnant pause while raising up one brow and displaying a megawatt smile and

ah fuck it, who the fuck cares these people can suck my dick.

Actually, hmm, I wouldn't mind if the men in uniform did...

Lastly, I stalked half-German boy's IG account and dude. His friends pay for most stuff but they get Belver Bears??

That's 7.5 Gs. o_O


  1. There's some very appealing quality about a guy in uniform, maybe it's because we associate it with being extra masculine? Here in Hawaii the military has a large presence, go down to Waikiki beach and check out the buff soldiers and sailors.

    On the other hand, what I see is that not every soldier is the epitome of hyper-masculinity. I live behind an army base and the soldiers are running thru our neighborhood doing morning exercises and some are quite pudgy, short -- not the tall, muscle image we see on TV. Soldiers, like us come in all different sizes.

  2. We all know what happens when you mix kenndo and booze...

    Omg FoC, your local craigslist and gay apps must be exploding with horny military men! haha. Anyway, every Singaporean male must go through military service so even sassy and pudgy Kenndo was once a man in uniform.