Wednesday, September 11, 2013

Life so far

I can't help smiling. Life is actually really good. Gonna recount what happened over the last few days when I went MIA:

1) A weekend ago: A couple entries ago I mentioned my Staunch Christian Friend from Texas who was visiting relatives in Hong Kong who said that homosexuality is a sin like any other so he doesn't hate on gay people more than...other sinners lol. But I've realized SCF is probably a lot more open-minded than I give him credit for. He flew over for the weekend from Hong Kong and stayed with me for a coupla days, along with Philippines Vacation Chick who was visiting for a couple days before going back to Korea, her homeland. SCF and PVC both are from college.

Basically, the trio of us had so much fun together for the weekend. I fucking love it when people visit my country, I get to play host! We went out to three clubs for PVC's birthday, and it was awesome, everyone had fun, everyone was tipsy (we pre-gamed at my place), no one was a shitshow (neither was I! Huzzah!), and free entry to all three clubs because we're club sluts who always know promoters and shit hahaha.

PVC got us into the first club because she knew the bouncers well where we danced a lil till a bouncer manhandled me and told me to get off the platform cuz it's only for ladies (FYI: Asia is fucking in-your-face sexist when it comes to clubbing. If you're a chick, you're treated like a queen, if you're a dude, unless u're getting bottle service, they basically spit in your face) and I got fucking mad because he was grabbing me by my US$10k watch and I started becoming a fucking douchebag and told him if he breaks my watch he has to write me a check for it, and so in the end we all left because I was literally about to give that fucking blue-collar pauper a piece of my mind for being so unnecessarily aggressive with me when I was unintentionally dancing with the ladies (PVC pulled me up). Fuck that shitass club. Only because it's always free entry that I somehow keep ending up there.

The second club we got in for free too cos I knew the promoter for the night (if not we wouldn't have gone in, cover was US$40 for chicks and US$80 for guys w t f - why do people like going clubbing??) so that was a hoot, and PVC's two friends (they were a couple, guy was named Thund3r - he was cute too!- girl was named M0m0 - she was super pretty too!- , I'm not kidding. It's awesome lol.), and we got into the VIP room and had a free bottle of Belvedere! Wootwoot!!! This drunk chick also came up and made out with me for no reason (eventually I realized she was dared by her friend), twice, and it was really weird because I went with it and I was wondering why I went with it after. Lol. She was bad at kissing. Then she kissed PVC too because it was her birthday. Hahaha.

After that, PVC hooked up with some not very attractive older dude who hooked us up with our third club of the night, so at 3:30 am we all got into our third cab of the night and went over. Free entry again! By this time though I was thoroughly liquored up enough and so didn't drink anymore (friends were good too and deflected all free drinks away from me hahaha), and we just danced cos this club is actually my favorite since they play good electronic remixes of Zedd, Mat Zo, Alesso etc. Then PVC didn't want to sleep with the dude (she's a virgin!!!) so we all bounced, laughed our heads off, I drunk called N while in the cab and both SCF and PVC spoke to him, and we went to get some fucking awesome local drunk food to eat, and then when I woke up I realized the both of them were sleeping on the same bed with me...when there are 4 other empty bedrooms in the house lolwtf. Apparently I got pretty drunk by the end and stripped down to my boxers before sleeping and told SCF to play with my tits like how N does...L M A O awkward...oops

I also brought both of them out to get some awesome 螃蟹米粉 (crab rice-vermicelli) which is fucking amazing btw?? Such a good dinner.

2) PVC had plans to have a mega South East Asia reunion with kids from Hong Kong, Malaysia, Indonesia, etc to join us for a tropical paradise resort holiday in Cebu, Philippines, however everyone fucking bitched out!!! Grarrrl. So in the end it was just me and her. Poop. I was a lil nervous about how it was gonna go, because PVC is notorious for being incredibly self-absorbed, man-crazy, and totally bitchy, and everyone's like, she's the female version of you! You guys would get along so well! Meh. Not true. I really do think I know how to pull the reins in on my self-absorption cos of my supreme intellect and self-awareness but no, PVC is actually self-absorbed.

Turns out we had a pretty good holiday. We took a 3 hour flight, a 20 min cab ride, a 2.5 hour ferry, and finally a 2.5 hour cab ride to our fucking deserted corner of middle-of-nowhere island, and it was awesome. Omg. Untouched by tourists. Our resort only had us and two other sketchy couples (always young slutty Filipino girl with old sketchy white man) and since the couples pretty much shagged all the time (I assumed so), PVC and I had the pool, the beach, and everything else to ourselves. It was like our private resort. Ace.

Here are more pictures:

It was so fucking gorgeous. The entire time I kept thinking how nice it would have been to have gone with N. I got up at 5 am everyday to catch the sun and talk to N. I also was very honest with PVC and gave her a therapy session of sorts, talking about why she projects this image of sluttiness when she's a goddamn virgin and has only touched one penis in her life (I told her, well yknow if you wanna you can touch mine HAHA) and I think it helped her. She's a great girl, really loyal to friends and stuff, but she requires so much validation from men all the's sad. Girls should really be a lot more self-confident. I realize guys are just fucking jerks seriously.

3) I am now tanned, and beautiful (lol), and in London. N left for work this morning, and I ironed his shirt for him. Fuck. Househusband = me. It has been incredible being with him. It just feels so right. I don't know how to describe it. And we get each other too. And also now that he is more than just a hookup (which was what I felt about him the first few days when we were in London), I am noticing more things about him, like how he is actually pretty hairy HAHA but it doesn't mind me that much (I'm probably gonna help him shave his upper back) and also do notice that wow he's...packing. Hahahaha. Not like it matters at all. We get along so well, and really do connect on a deeper level.

We've been doing very weird things together. We had a bottle of Piper-Heidsieck demi-sec (this means that the champagne is pretty darn sweet, much sweeter than extra brut or brut) and watched X Factor together... Like who drinks champagne and watches X Factor reruns at 2 in the morning lol. And I cried multiple times at all the "average" people with "average" jobs with fucking huge lungs and a thirst to chase after their dreams. It's seriously so inspirational. He was lying on my chest the entire time and I kept playing with his hair. It was really kinda cute.

It's been extremely weird staying at his place though, because I'm pretty sure during these two weeks his mom is going to figure out the true nature of our relationship. I've been pretty awkward during meal times so far, because N, his mom, and his sister all speak in Farsi and I sit there dumbly watching the telly and munching on my food, and slipping in a few polite "the food is great Auntie" pleasantries her and there. And it's hilarious because apparently they speak in Farsi about ME, while I'm at the dinner table, how very reminiscent of Asian families hahaha. His mom said that N is a gorilla compared to me, even though he is already not very hairy. She said it is wonderful I have such nice smooth skin wtf...and also asked him if it was me singing earlier in the afternoon, and asked if I was going to sing for them some time. Haha! She said she likes me, because I can sing well, and she likes to have a singer in the house, and that she sat by the stairs to hear me sing! Awww.

Still, I'm kind of uneasy because N and I spend a lot of time in the room (duh) and it's usually quiet (we're not talking), or we shower together, and I'm just paranoid if she somehow finds out she'll go apeshit on me. N seems to not care, and thinks that if she finds out this way, it might be for the best. I'm like, but dude what if ur mom poisons me lol. Or kicks me out. Idk. It's weird.

Anyway, itinerary for today: Blindly look at who the fuck I want to work for...and then gym, shower, pick up N at his workplace, dinner, and drinks after with one of his best guy friends who he told "Hey I have a surprise for you tonight!" to which the guy replied "Can't wait"... the surprise is me, that N's gay and has a boyfriend. Lol...oh boy our predilection for drama.

1 comment:

  1. What? You call N's mother "Auntie"? Not "Mrs. N"? That seems really informal. Oh well, as long as she's responds to that, I guess it's OK.

    I wonder if she is sheltered or it's a cultural thing for her not to notice something is going on between the two of you. In some parts of the world, it's perfectly fine for two guys/men to hold hands. In uptight USA, that would elicit stares.