Wednesday, October 30, 2013

I know I said farewell, but...

I'm just terribly excited for things to come. The past couple of days I've been having a crash course in the SGP office before heading over to the HKG office, and it's been a blast. Everyone's super chill, super funny, we all use iMacs, etc., and I grabbed a beer with my big boss and he basically tells me that he thinks I'm really bright and that he can groom me up, and that's freakin' awesome because all I really want is a mentor. Might be a bit premature, but I'm crossing my fingers that I do end up becoming the company's pet.

He was checking a lady out by the bar, when he asks me,

"Hey, so I heard you've a girlfriend up in HKG. What's her name?"

I shifted in my seat for a bit and gave a sheepish smile. The reason he thought so was because my manager over in HKG asked me if I had a girlfriend over in HKG, and I said I have "someone."

"Oh sorry if it's too personal we don't have to talk about it."
"Nah, it's cool, it's just more that it isn't really a girlfriend, because he's still with me in SGP, but gonna be flying with me to HKG tomorrow."
"Oh wow, oh ok, I'm sorry I didn't mean to put you on the spot right there."

I tell him a bit more about N, then he says he thinks it's great, it's the 21st century, everyone should be free to love whoever they want, and then he asks me if I've told my manager over in HKG yet.

"No? Well, you should! She's gay! And she's been married to her wife for a few years now. She's gonna love you so much more for telling her. You really should."

My eyes lit up. Although I kind of guessed from her short haircut, her completely relaxed chill almost "bro"-esque vibe with me during my interview, it was great to have a confirmation. She's my first lesbian acquaintance, and she's my boss!

I'm excited. She seems to really really like me too, and I really think everything's going to turn out great with this new gig. So far from what I can tell, the job is actually pretty exciting (I get to snoop around and see everyone's compensations and all the gossips in these circles etc.), and the hours are definitely not that long (probably till 8 pm) and surprisingly, I'm actually paid more than my previous job (probably because this firm is full of Americans who would be deigned to be paid like every other underpaid Asian gulag). More importantly, I like everyone, and this completely fits my personality of being a small cosy niche company with outgoing lively coworkers and a very client-based job role in a city where I can wear my suit and tie and look and feel dapper as fuck. Also, I got this job completely without my dad's help! Wahoo!

N packed all my stuff for me for our flight. He's so adorable. He kept saying "oh shit I'm in crisis mode" because he needs all of his stuff (and my stuff) to be in some strange esoteric order and so he repacked everything three times, and I didn't need to lift a finger. To reward him, I jerked him off while we watched X Factor hahaha. Well, he did that to me last night too, so a man has to always return the favor ya know.

Another thing that I'm really pumped about HKG - I have a gym/pool/sauna right in my apartment building. It's gonna be helluva lot easier to drag my ass to the gym now. (After I stopped working, the gym that I would go to, which used to be in my office building, is now 20 minutes by car away from my house...thus I virtually never went.) N snacks way too much and it tempts me like a naked cowboy stripper and I've put on 4.5 lbs of fat... fuck me. I am now actually heavier than him when he's 6 inches taller than me... h o l y s h i t. I am actually horribly out of shape now; I definitely do not look like my profile picture; 32" suit pants are ridiculously tight. It is very unnerving and so I am thinking of ways to force myself to be disciplined and gym every alternate day and swim on the other days. Going to start a low-carb diet, no more chips, no more rice, just eggs eggs eggs. I have to get down to being able to fit in my suit pants again because honestly, 32" is the benchmark of fatness for me, I cannot tolerate being a 33". Sorry #gayboyproblems.

Sunday, October 27, 2013

Make You Feel My Love

When the rain is blowing in your face,
And the whole world is on your case,
I could offer you a warm embrace
To make you feel my love.

When the evening shadows and the stars appear,
And there is no one there to dry your tears,
I could hold you for a million years
To make you feel my love.

I know you haven't made your mind up yet,
But I would never do you wrong.
I've known it from the moment that we met,
No doubt in my mind where you belong.

I'd go hungry; I'd go black and blue,
I'd go crawling down the avenue.
No, there's nothing that I wouldn't do
To make you feel my love.

The storms are raging on the rolling sea
And on the highway of regret.
The winds of change are blowing wild and free,
You ain't seen nothing like me yet.

I could make you happy, make your dreams come true.
Nothing that I wouldn't do.
Go to the ends of the Earth for you,
To make you feel my love
To make you feel my love

Wednesday, October 23, 2013

New beginnings

YEAAHHH BABY!!! I got the job with the headhunting (professionally known as "executive search") firm in HK! Gonna be moving there next Friday with N. So pumped, so excited, so thankful. I basically met all the dudes in the firm, it's crazy because this was my only interview series ever where I felt very composed and confident, but also easily the longest one ever (I probably spent a total of 9 hours interviewing with each and every single one of them). 

Things with N are going great. His mom has become very very accepting of him now, and he has unrestricted her access to his Facebook page, so now she sees all of our pictures together haha. My wall is honestly filled with him checking in to various places with me, so I'm pretty sure anyone who looks at our walls would know what's going on. Don't really care though; I have reached complete acceptance of my gay identity and it's great. 

I'm very tempted to post up some pictures of us together, but I don't think he would like it. He saw me checking blogger out and he asked me about it, and I couldn't lie so I told him that I have this anonymous blog where I wrote all my innermost feelings and thoughts since the day I decided to come out to my first person, all the way till now. And that I write quite a bit about him. He really wanted to read what I wrote about him, but I told him I can't; it's way creepy (on my end), and uncomfortable for me. 

We've done so much together though. Unlike other couples, we have spent the last 8 weeks basically living together. 24/7. So things naturally have progressed really fast. Oddly, he completely is able to tolerate my short temper and snappiness. I have also managed to quite enjoy his neediness, where he says creepy but adorable things like "Oof! I just want to squeeze you so hard till your juices come out!" And I shoot him a 'wtf' look. Lol. He also cannoootttt stop touching my bum. It's weird. 

So the plan for us now is, I'll work in Hong Kong. He'll apply to a couple universities over there, and hopefully at least one accepts him as a transfer kid, and he'll go to school and work part-time. In a couple years' time, we'll go to the states for master's/MBA. Then, eh, idk, maybe we might get married there hahahaha, and either move back to Asia, or stay there for a couple more years. 

In the meantime, I'm enjoying unemployment life, being fat (have not gone to the gym at all since forever), being pasty (I'm taking Isotretinoin and so can't get much sun), and being with my boyfriend. Seems like 2013 would end with the best ending I've ever had so far.

Saturday, October 12, 2013


Woah what is feedspot and why do I have followers on it. Didn't know there was like a google reader replacement thing. Anyway pretty cool to receive an email from them about getting a free years worth of no ads...for a website that I haven't actually heard of but I guess I'll check it out some time.

What's up everyone? I guess it wasn't completely farewell farewell hah cos I do like blogging. There is definitely less motivation to share stuff anonymously online now though as I talk to N about pretty much everything. I'm typing this now on my phone while he's asleep beside me. It's seriously just mind blowing how tight and close we are given that we only met on July 11 and spent 7 weeks apart and now he's moving countries for me.

And all this is gonna sound stupid crazy but guys, N really might be "the one" for me. Like seriously we are perfect together. He is incredibly patient and level headed and that compliments my hotheaded and impatient self pretty well cos he calms me down (I frequently get road rage cos traffic in the city fucking sucks donkey cock). I am also a lot more fiscally responsible while N kinds of just spends without caution and I constantly rein him in pointing out cheaper alternatives haha since dude, he doesn't have access to unlimited money like before. Also, we seriously become fucking babies together, calling each other "boo-boo" or cutie McCutie HAH and he calls me tushie too And the sex is pretty good, we have tried quite a few positions and I'm definitely getting better at this hah. I still however find no carnal pleasure whatsoever in bottoming and frequently can't even get hard... So I have to finish off after he finishes off, or some times I just don't. But yeah he really might be the one. My friends love him too and tell me that they're happy for me, and my family likes him too, and dude nothing has ever gone so well in my life before. Not that I've a shitty life but you know how things always have ups and downs or pros and cons? There are almost no cons in our relationship. Woah again.

Also I might have a job in HK soon. It's with a tiny tiny (12 people) young (founded in 2011) executive search (headhunting) firm founded by a couple of Americans/Europeans living in Asia. Dude. Startup environment plus "international" colleagues plus cool job scope (I get to write the candidate profile write ups and presentations for client companies) equals awesome opportunity. Don't know if I'll really get it yet still gotta talk to the whole SGP team on Monday (they're showing me around the office and to get to know them a bit better) so not gonna jinx it yet. But I'm very excited about this, seems super clutch. Besides, I found this job completely by myself (I trawled the internet and found it on LinkedIn hahah) without any connections from my dad so holy holy shit this could be my first job that I didn't need to use his help for. Go me!!!

N might have a job too with the W since we kinda bumped into his W HK DJ friend at a gay bar in SGP who told him to come down for an interview when he's in HK for any openings. Not sure where this would really go as the dude seems pretty uninterested after realizing that N wasn't lying when he told him that he has a boyfriend. Lol. In fact at the gay bar quite a few people hit on N, or both of us in fact (some old dude came to us and said he really enjoys watching us make out) and N turned everyone down and didn't even really check them out at all (granted they were all unattractive to begin with) so that's a good sign haha. And none of us have Grindr or jackd anymore! Woop woop.

Oooh he's awake now, covering his mouth and saying "morning baby" cos he thinks his breath smells. Such an adorable guy haha. Catch ya all later.

Thursday, October 10, 2013


N came out to his mom via a long heartfelt email (they're across the globe now), and she took it badly. She cried and blamed herself for being a bad parent, and sent him many articles to articulate that homosexuality is a psychological problem that needs fixing.

This is one of the articles that she linked to him. She did apologize for being part of the 'backwards' older generation, but she said it is simply forbidden in her books. She thinks it is the broken family that has caused this, because "everything exists for a reason." She is also devastated because she has a lot of heirloom jewelry she envisioned passing on to N's wife, including a 60 carat diamond necklace, and even after N told her he wants to have a baby girl and the girl can have that, she said she can't love the grandchild the same. Probably is just the initial shock period, but she really should stop reading so many homophobic articles.

It's really strange that she still says she loves me, she thinks I'm beautiful and really sweet, but that I also need fixing like N. And it is also really embarrassing she called N out about the clump of tissues he forgot to clear out from his trash can after leaving London, and so she now knows that we were having sex in the house...and has jumped to the conclusion that we surely must have gotten some STDs or HIV now and thus need to get tested immediately.

Oh least my mom loves me and she really likes N too. In fact, she bought some durians for him to try, of which he said smelled and tasted like "raw baby chicken marinated in onions." Hahahaha.

Tuesday, October 1, 2013


Alright. I guess it's become pretty obvious that this blog is no longer as useful as it was for me. I might drop by once in a while to update on things between N and I, but I don't even think anybody reads this anymore anyway.

Basically, I'm home now with N, and my family's been great about it. Both my brother and sister have partners too, so we all had such a nice warm large family dinner last night with my sis and her bf cooking up some great pasta and chicken.

It's almost surreal what I have with N, and I am most positive this is going to last for a long time. It's been mad real guys. Farewell.

And baby
It's amazing I'm in this maze with you
I just can't crack your code
One day you're screaming you love me loud
The next day you're so cold
One day you're here, one day you're there, one day you care
You're so unfair sipping from your cup
Till it runneth over, Holy Grail