Sunday, December 15, 2013

"Look how far you've come"

I just feel so incredibly blessed with life. I just had a couple friends over and we drank two bottles of wine, and I only had 2 glasses but I'm already pretty tipsy! What a lightweight I've become after not drinking for what...three weeks? Haha. Today my friends came over to the mall that I live above (yes, so incredibly blessed) and we had sushi, then wine at home. Yesterday N's friends visited too, and we had Mexican also in the same mall, and then wine on the 62nd floor. Both nights were incredibly chill and fun.

My brother's ending his investment banking internship early, only after a month into it. Hah! Turns out he really detests how mindless and unfulfilling it is, plus the long hours really got to him because he wants to spend more time with his girlfriend. Great that he is also slowly finding his own voice. Happy for him, although I'm going to really miss having him around in the house - the three of us have actually had a really chill nice time living together so far.

When I say three of us, I meant N, my brother and I. My dad is hardly ever around because he basically lives on a plane. And my brother is also supes chill about me sharing a bed with N haha. In fact...he accidentally saw pictures of N and I kissing on N's phone today!!! Yikesss.

Turns out my birthday surprise was scuba diving. Man. It was actually incredibly fun. It was also so relaxing getting away from the hustle and bustle of Hong Kong. Yes! We could actually scuba dive in HK! And turns out there are actually loads of stuff to see so that was great. We kayaked after too. Super chill and relaxing day with my booboo.

Today, N held me by the hands and told me, "Look how far you've come. Since the start of the year. Since first getting to know me, not being sure if you want to be with me, everything. Look how far you've come."

I smiled so wide, and hugged him so tight.

Oddly, S has been trying to reconnect with me. Apparently my good friend R told me that every time S talks to him, he will ask about me. I guess S is really bummed out he never gave me a full chance in the end. Totally his loss. Looking back now, I am so glad I didn't go anywhere with him - he is totally not my type.

Also, N has been working out hardcore (since honestly he isn't working nor going to school and so has loads of free time) and has been bulking up and looking real mad sexy these days phwwwoaaaarrrr seriously I am one lucky helluva guy.

And yes, FoC, Christmas is a pretty big deal here. I have loads of photos of N and I with various Christmas backdrops that I am contemplating uploading here - should I?

Friday, December 6, 2013

So it's been about a month that I started my new gig, and so far I'm actually quite surprised at how it isn't as easy as I thought it would be. I had the impression I could come in to work at about 9.30 am, and leave on the dot at 6 pm, but my boss is such a punctuality nazi and so I have to get in at 9, and most days I leave at 7.30-8. Definitely did not see this coming. I’ve also had to go for many meetings, and take mad notes, and do some beautiful write-up of these dudes on top of the most perfunctory administrative shit I have to do. There have been days that I’ve been so exhausted, because it’s really tough to get organized, and thus I’ve been lazy on my whole gym routine shit.

Still though, it’s miles better than my previous stint. I feel a lot more comfortable here, able to be myself, contributing more to the team, feeling more appreciated, etc. I also live really close to where I work which, woah, is actually amazing. My brother’s doing an investment banking internship here, and he’s already about to keel over in his second week (he hasn’t been back earlier than 10 pm other than the first day), but it’s good because I’ve had chances to get closer to him. My mom also came to visit, and it was so, so, fun to have her here and we just spent the weekend hanging out, and she said she never knew how much she missed me until she was with me again. She also really treats N as her son.

It was also my birthday a couple weeks ago, and I got, once again, needlessly drunk out of my mind that I blacked out for 2 hours again, but this time N was with me the entire time to witness how I behave during these episodes. He said I started crying, scratching him, running away, jumping in front of cars to try and get hit. He also said I started shouting a lot at him telling him to fuck off because I know he doesn't love me, and that no one loves me. He called my dad at 3 am, who called the chauffeur to come down and pick me up, since apparently I ran so far away from the clubbing district that N didn’t know how to get back (plus, no cabs wanted to take me).

It’s very disturbing why I behave that way. He sat me down the next day and asked me if I felt unhappy. I told him no I don't, but maybe somehow subconsciously I do. I’ve made a pact with him since though, to not drink more than 1 glass in any occasion, and so far, I’ve drank nothing.

That was well, a pretty sobering event, ironically. I’ve somehow calmed even more of my tits down, and basically spending time with N at home suffices. I know there still comes certain spikes of urges within me that really craves going out to a club or a bar and getting champagne and shit with a kickass rooftop view, but definitely not as much as before.

On to other random things. My company is trying to pitch to my dad as a potential client. That is just heaps amounts of awkward because one of the consultants wanted me to take charge of the initial research since I knew everyone in the firm. Uhm, no.

Tomorrow is also the day N scheduled for my “surprise,” which well, surprisingly, got pushed back two weeks from my actual birthday weekend. We have to leave the house at 7.30 am, but other than that, no information.

Also, this is so embarrassing, but I’m addicted to a mobile game called Puzzles & Dragons and it’s just fucking horrible because it’s basically Bejeweled crossed with Pokemon and Sailor Moon (N calls it a princess bejeweled game because they’re so many anime princesses), but it’s so fucking ridiculously addictive ugh.

Also, yesterday was the longest time I’ve ever gone without having sex since being with N lmaoooo, and that’s…a week. Damn son.