Tuesday, February 25, 2014

Good looks

N told me of two incidents that happened recently. The first one was when he was working (at my dad's company) and this girl from the sales team comes over and introduces herself to him. They talk, she wants to know more about him (and his British accent), and then drags this female client over, and they ask him if they can take photos with him. Apparently, they said that he's the most handsome employee they've ever gotten at the company, and that warrants a picture!

Another one he just told me was at McDonald's, just today actually, when these three girls sat at the table beside him, and they were taking a selfie really awkwardly from a pretty high angle. He offered to help them take a photo of all of them, but they laughed and said that they just wanted to take a photo of him really, because he's very pretty and they wanna show the photo to their friends, and that warrants a picture too!

Hahahaha. I'm a lucky guy :D It's just mindblowing really, how much easier things are for good looking people. Objectively really, N is truly very good looking. I've asked him if he ever wanted to go back to modeling, but he says it's just crazy stressful, critical and unhealthy, which makes sense.


In other news, the GMAT is ridiculously tough. What the balls. I'm doing my first practice test and it's just a lot more complicated than I thought. I mean like, Math??? I'm Asian I can solve anything! ... cannot be more wrong. I'm honestly too lazy to sit for the GMAT...

And yeah, I do hear you FoC. I'm not one who really follows any sort of plans in life, but at least this gives me a goal to work towards. I'm not a control freak at all so I'm fine if things change along the way. At least now I know what target companies/sectors I wanna work in.


In other other news, my gay friend R was telling me excitedly about how he met a cute dude on Grindr in Nottingham or wherever he's at now in the UK, and blew him in the bushes outside his dorm. Which reminded me of how, I've been on the receiving end of two really slutty blowjobs in public before, one right along a pier by a club back home with the South African pilot, and another in a park near a gay club with this Pinoy dude.

He started sending me pictures of the guy, along with some p33n too. For a while I was slightly jealous that he could go on Grindr or Jack'd and scout for dudes, and chat them up and get p33n pics and shit like that.

He was asking me if he should text the Grindr Bush Guy (GBG) immediately, or wait till the next morn. He told me after GBG blew, he said "thanks I really needed that" and when R told him "let me know if I can help again!" GBG replied, "Sure, I have to go now, I have a 9 am." I asked R if they kissed, and he said yes he did, but not much, and also said that R's cute (I probed further and turns out R told GBG that he's cute first, and GBG said it back to him).

I didn't know what to really say to R, so I told him to just wait till the morning and send something cheeky like "Hey dude hope your 9am went well. My 10am went pretty good, and well, so did my 2 am :)" He was so excited and said he couldn't sleep straight away because he feels like this guy is really chill and nice and there might be something more.

This morning he told me that he can't find GBG on Grindr anymore even though he favorited him. I told him GBG probably blocked you, and R was pretty destroyed. He started going on a rampage about how the gay world is so shallow, and what did he do wrong last night? and if he'll always be single. He said he thought that after using Grindr for 3 years

Sigh. I don't really know what to say to him. It's just mindblowing really, how much harder things are for people who aren't physically "attractive," or rather, for people who aren't secure with how they look. I think he's despairing a lot because he used to think he couldn't get guys cos he was kinda fat, so he lost a bunch of weight by hitting the gym hardcore, and now he's shed a lot, but still finds that guys aren't attracted to him. In many ways, he has internalized this criticism, and oddly projects it outward where he himself has very unrealistic expectations of his ideal partner.

The gay world is really brutal. And I have been extremely lucky to not have been on the receiving end of a lot of its callousness. After R told me this story, I felt bad for how I used to some times perpetrate such heartlessness.  I remember how for some hookups I refused to touch or make out with the other guy because he was not attractive but I was horny and just wanted to get sucked off. I've also blocked hookups who I didn't find attractive almost immediately after the deed got done. And the thing was, back then, I didn't feel bad at all for that, because I assumed everyone knew that this was purely transactional, and if I wanted it to be a one-time thing, I'm just blocking them.

That said though, I was definitely much less of a douchebag than the average Grindr guy with an inflated ego.

I'm just thankful I don't have to deal with the hissiness of Grindr or Jack'd anymore, and with playing the whole dating game.



This is kind of related.


  1. You are one lucky guy to have found N.

    All plans are subject to change, things happen, you just have to adapt and persevere. The main thing is you have an idea of what you want to do; there's a number of paths to your destination.

  2. This may be pre-mature, but have you thought about marriage already. This cute couple reminds me of you and N -- because the both of you make a cute couple. And this is a real event, not some song video.


  3. great video. i teared quite a bit.

    we have. and we will get married. but only when life is more settled, i.e. i have a career, N is done with school and is working, and we have chosen a country where we will be settling down in.

    we will definitely get married though. no doubt about it :)

  4. That's the right way to do things. Relationships come with potential challenges, you have to change your mindset from "me" to "we" -- don't complicate things further with career and financial issues. A more solid and stable situation will allow you to focus on bonding your relationship further.

    N can be a confidence and catalyst boost for you, and you can do the same for him.