WHAT IS UP EVERYONE???
First off, I want to thank FoC for being there for me this whole time!! You're a good guy :) Thanks for the advice also, about focusing on results rather than process.
To the anon commenter, honestly ultimately, I see myself managing people. I do enjoy more of a 'delegating' and mentoring sort of role, yes I come across as a lazy young punk for saying that, but I do really enjoy the big picture way of looking at things. N and I have thought about marriage, but he needs to have an income, and welp, he's a student...Lastly, yes, it's N and I in the profile pic haha, and thanks :) So far loads of my girl friends and their girl friends have been telling me that N is so cute and has "flawless skin" and want me to introduce him to them, and I can only chuckle and say "yep well, he's not for the ladies I'm sorry" haha
Today I am posting the above song because 1. I fucking love the song, even though I have not watched Frozen but I've listened to this song at least 50 times. 2. This guy is actually incredibly, incredibly good. He's actually part of a metal band. whaaaat???
I feel the power within me coming back. Yes, I have so far been completely shit with my jobs, and I have a gaping hole from now all the way till September if/when I start grad school in London, but I firmly believe that I am young and still finding my way, I have the whole world ahead of me, it is okay to fail, and make mistakes here and there, and I will pick myself up from here and everything will be okay.
I handed in my resignation letter this morning via email, because one of my bosses (yeah, I have two, wtf) is not in HK. Within 15 minutes, I received an email from Dropbox saying that I have been kicked out of the system, and I was prevented access from their online database. No one spoke to me. For a company that is in the business of dealing people, this bitch is horrible at it.
I spoke to someone else in the company, and she told me how that when this bitch joined the firm last July, everything went upside down. She tried to rule it like a vengeful Jolie-pouty-lips banshee. I explained of all the incredibly hurtful things she has been telling to me, as a young punk who honestly has been extremely nice, earnest, and everything good so far, and she was aghast that she has been so unprofessional. She asked me why have I not spoken to her about the Bitch, and I said, it was because I did not want to appear weak in front of others, and I wanted to really change the impression she had of me, but it proved to be an uphill task. She said, honestly, from day one, the Bitch seemed to be out to get me, and that I need to learn that I can't always be so nice, and have to learn how to play office politics.
That's just really sad. If I can echo what Ellen Page recently said in her coming out video (mad props girl!), "this world would be a whole lot better if we just made an effort to be less horrible to one another. If we took just 5 minutes to recognize each other's beauty, instead of attacking each other for our differences. That's not hard."
Anyway, yes it is my fault that I did not go to anyone else. Well, the Bitch told me that she is sort of my "HR" so how was I supposed to go to her for problems, when she was the problem itself for me? Anyway, water under the bridge. She finally had a phone call with me and just lambasted me for throwing this on her without notifying her beforehand (I don't get it? If I quit, that means I quit, why is there anything to discuss?).
I explained to my dad how the Bitch has been really horrible to me. So here's the thing, I mentioned before that my dad is a client of theirs. Yes, he agreed to employ them because he wanted to show support to his clearly "rebellious" son for not going into the "professional" fields (when I told him I wanted to quit, my dad told me I should go and study law now and be a lawyer, lmaooo, love him). He sent a text to the guy he's been speaking to at my firm and said,
"Please ask [the Bitch] to shut up and stop spreading around uncalled for remarks about [me] in his last few days with your company."
HAHAHAHAHA. Fuck dude. She was livid and started just spreading even more venom about me. Honestly, this Bitch is also really fucking thick in the head. My dad was gonna give them a big account, well too bad he ain't now. I spoke to the guy after, and said things have just been difficult between me and her, and he agrees, that she had unrealistic expectations of a twentysomething young punk fresh from school, who clearly needed more guidance and direction and investing, but somehow I didn't receive that.
Dude. I swear everyone else in the office is actually great, except her. Too bad because I can't actually switch bosses because she's the head of my whole team, and there isn't any other team to go to (the rest are all Partner level...)
Anyway, lessons learned:
- Some times, it does not pay to be nice. I have not gossiped about her to anybody else in the office, but apparently she has been spreading venom about me. Why? About a poor old twentysomething fresh grad? Only on my last day, did I very diplomatically reveal that she has been making my life hell for no reason. I don't think people believe me though...except my peers, who really do.
- A start-up is only a good place to be in only if everybody else has a "start-up" mentality. The Bitch came from a big firm before, and was fucking corporate in her mindset, and conflicting in everything she was telling me ("Be my friend and listen to me whine!" "Wait, I am your boss and do what the fuck I tell you!" "Wait, be my friend again and listen to me whine!")
- Even the lady who I talked to today who told me that the Bitch turned everything upside down, told me, "work for a male boss next time." It is so true. Women bosses are just. fucking. complicated. In my interviews in the future, I am going to explicitly ask if my boss is a dude, and also, if he might be Latino, and very fit, and....hahaha, j/k. I have my dearest N ;)
- As a fresh grad, everything is scary. It really is thus best to join a very structured graduate training program instead. Be surrounded by likeminded peers, have constant feedback, etc. I was just alone here (everyone else in the HK office was Partner level), everyone seemed sooo distant from me, and it was just killing me.
- Personal things I learned: I am very forgetful. When it comes to things that need extreme micromanaging, I tend to falter. I have been improving on it however, and in my next job, I will be a lot more organized I believe.
THINGS WILL GET BETTER IN THE FUTURE!!!! That really, is the only thing I have to believe in. So far, because I have had horrid experiences with my jobs, I am cracking my head over how am I going to explain the gaping hole of unemployment until my semester starts...if I do go to school again...