Monday, February 17, 2014

HMMM


WHAT IS UP EVERYONE???


First off, I want to thank FoC for being there for me this whole time!! You're a good guy :) Thanks for the advice also, about focusing on results rather than process.


To the anon commenter, honestly ultimately, I see myself managing people. I do enjoy more of a 'delegating' and mentoring sort of role, yes I come across as a lazy young punk for saying that, but I do really enjoy the big picture way of looking at things. N and I have thought about marriage, but he needs to have an income, and welp, he's a student...Lastly, yes, it's N and I in the profile pic haha, and thanks :) So far loads of my girl friends and their girl friends have been telling me that N is so cute and has "flawless skin" and want me to introduce him to them, and I can only chuckle and say "yep well, he's not for the ladies I'm sorry" haha

Today I am posting the above song because 1. I fucking love the song, even though I have not watched Frozen but I've listened to this song at least 50 times. 2. This guy is actually incredibly, incredibly good. He's actually part of a metal band. whaaaat???


I feel the power within me coming back. Yes, I have so far been completely shit with my jobs, and I have a gaping hole from now all the way till September if/when I start grad school in London, but I firmly believe that I am young and still finding my way, I have the whole world ahead of me, it is okay to fail, and make mistakes here and there, and I will pick myself up from here and everything will be okay.


I handed in my resignation letter this morning via email, because one of my bosses (yeah, I have two, wtf) is not in HK. Within 15 minutes, I received an email from Dropbox saying that I have been kicked out of the system, and I was prevented access from their online database. No one spoke to me. For a company that is in the business of dealing people, this bitch is horrible at it.


I spoke to someone else in the company, and she told me how that when this bitch joined the firm last July, everything went upside down. She tried to rule it like a vengeful Jolie-pouty-lips banshee. I explained of all the incredibly hurtful things she has been telling to me, as a young punk who honestly has been extremely nice, earnest, and everything good so far, and she was aghast that she has been so unprofessional. She asked me why have I not spoken to her about the Bitch, and I said, it was because I did not want to appear weak in front of others, and I wanted to really change the impression she had of me, but it proved to be an uphill task. She said, honestly, from day one, the Bitch seemed to be out to get me, and that I need to learn that I can't always be so nice, and have to learn how to play office politics.


That's just really sad. If I can echo what Ellen Page recently said in her coming out video (mad props girl!), "this world would be a whole lot better if we just made an effort to be less horrible to one another. If we took just 5 minutes to recognize each other's beauty, instead of attacking each other for our differences. That's not hard."


Anyway, yes it is my fault that I did not go to anyone else. Well, the Bitch told me that she is sort of my "HR" so how was I supposed to go to her for problems, when she was the problem itself for me? Anyway, water under the bridge. She finally had a phone call with me and just lambasted me for throwing this on her without notifying her beforehand (I don't get it? If I quit, that means I quit, why is there anything to discuss?).

I explained to my dad how the Bitch has been really horrible to me. So here's the thing, I mentioned before that my dad is a client of theirs. Yes, he agreed to employ them because he wanted to show support to his clearly "rebellious" son for not going into the "professional" fields (when I told him I wanted to quit, my dad told me I should go and study law now and be a lawyer, lmaooo, love him). He sent a text to the guy he's been speaking to at my firm and said,

"Please ask [the Bitch] to shut up and stop spreading around uncalled for remarks about [me] in his last few days with your company."

HAHAHAHAHA. Fuck dude. She was livid and started just spreading even more venom about me. Honestly, this Bitch is also really fucking thick in the head. My dad was gonna give them a big account, well too bad he ain't now. I spoke to the guy after, and said things have just been difficult between me and her, and he agrees, that she had unrealistic expectations of a twentysomething young punk fresh from school, who clearly needed more guidance and direction and investing, but somehow I didn't receive that.

Dude. I swear everyone else in the office is actually great, except her. Too bad because I can't actually switch bosses because she's the head of my whole team, and there isn't any other team to go to (the rest are all Partner level...)

Anyway, lessons learned:

  1. Some times, it does not pay to be nice. I have not gossiped about her to anybody else in the office, but apparently she has been spreading venom about me. Why? About a poor old twentysomething fresh grad? Only on my last day, did I very diplomatically reveal that she has been making my life hell for no reason. I don't think people believe me though...except my peers, who really do.
  2. A start-up is only a good place to be in only if everybody else has a "start-up" mentality. The Bitch came from a big firm before, and was fucking corporate in her mindset, and conflicting in everything she was telling me ("Be my friend and listen to me whine!" "Wait, I am your boss and do what the fuck I tell you!" "Wait, be my friend again and listen to me whine!")
  3. Even the lady who I talked to today who told me that the Bitch turned everything upside down, told me, "work for a male boss next time." It is so true. Women bosses are just. fucking. complicated. In my interviews in the future, I am going to explicitly ask if my boss is a dude, and also, if he might be Latino, and very fit, and....hahaha, j/k. I have my dearest N ;)
  4. As a fresh grad, everything is scary. It really is thus best to join a very structured graduate training program instead. Be surrounded by likeminded peers, have constant feedback, etc. I was just alone here (everyone else in the HK office was Partner level), everyone seemed sooo distant from me, and it was just killing me.
  5. Personal things I learned: I am very forgetful. When it comes to things that need extreme micromanaging, I tend to falter. I have been improving on it however, and in my next job, I will be a lot more organized I believe.
THINGS WILL GET BETTER IN THE FUTURE!!!! That really, is the only thing I have to believe in. So far, because I have had horrid experiences with my jobs, I am cracking my head over how am I going to explain the gaping hole of unemployment until my semester starts...if I do go to school again...

2 comments:

  1. For some, there's a big transition from school to work. If you don't show up to class but still pass, no big deal, right? But work is different, there are minimum expectations, that you have to master before you get to the larger responsibilities. You have to earn the trust and respect of your peers and bosses.

    While it sure sounds like your environment was not one that could produce success, not all workplaces are like this. You need to find something that is competitive but also supportive. Your boss failed at helping making you successful, so she didn't do her job to create a win-win situation for the firm. If she is like this with most staff, eventually her bosses will conclude that she is the problem.

    Your main goal now is to make a graceful exit and look forward. Use this time to reflect on the things you need to improve. You can turn failure into a positive by learning lessons so that next time you know how to handle things better.

    Make an action list of the things you need to do better. And develop a plan on how you will address things. For example, if you are forgetful, then write it down or enter reminders into your calendar on your phone or computer, don't rely on your memory alone. If you need to be better organized, research techniques that help you achieve that.

    There are a number of ways of learning: reading about it, seeing it done, doing it. All 3 help you master a task. And be proactive. When you come across a problem, don't immediately go to your supervisor for help. Try to figure it out on your own, or at least come up with a solution, then ask your boss to bless your approach. This shows both creativity and problem-solving skills, and gives you a gold star for being proactive rather than passive.

    Your experience though is not unique. I've worked with people older than me and some still remain quite passive, coming to me with really minor issues that they should be able to solve on their own.

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  2. Hi, same anon from yesterday haha. Thanks for the shout out! I'm glad you decided to quit especially since your boss has been making your life a living hell. That's a horrible environment to be in, especially just coming out of school. Forget what people say about doing your time at a shitty job. However, I do think you shouldn't generalize that all female bosses suck, maybe you haven't found a good one yet! 

    On a different note, the UK has a working holiday visa scheme with HK as well so you could give yourself another year to decide whether graduate school is for you, more work experience, and a year in London with N! Check it out: http://www.ukba.homeoffice.gov.uk/visas-immigration/working/tier5/youthmobilityscheme/

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