and it scares me.
some times i feel this crushing sense of defeat. i am trying to get an academic referee for my applications, and it struck me that the only person i could ask was my freshman advisor, back in 2009. oh. my. god. i have skipped so many classes in college, and paid zero respect to anybody except in freshman year when i still cared about school. now i just have no professor to really turn to. i remember in college how for some classes i would get As on all my written tests, but still end up with an A-/B+ because i got extremely poor participation points.
the truth is, i really dread going back to school. i never wanted to do anything after a bachelor's except for an MBA! and that's because an MBA really isn't like school! it's all about the networking, and the environment, and the ideas and creativity, rather than a structured school environment. do i want to do a master's in finance, when i absolutely hate numbers??? do i want to do a master's in management, when it would seem odd when eventually i wanna apply for an MBA??
what am i really doing with my life?
but if i don't go to school in london, then N and i will be apart. three years of long-distance is just way, way too hard to think about.
selfishly, i want him to study in hk.