Friday, February 13, 2015

Take me to church


Goddammit, things are never peaceful and 'simple' with me...

On Wednesday I had such a perfect date night with N. He surprised me with tickets to watch a ballet at the Royal Opera House, because he remembered I once mentioned to him that I've never been to a ballet, and wanted to see at least one some time. Since it was my first time I decided to overdress a little, and both of us turned up in bow ties and a suit, and boy oh boy, N looked immaculately handsome. I just couldn't take my eyes off him. We even had a glass of Ruinart each too during the intermission!

I went in thinking ballet would be really stuffy and boring, but it was beautiful. The set design was incredible - everything looked like it was from a painting. Also it was my first time noticing how incredibly hot male ballet dancers are - they have insanely nice and perky butts! Hahaha. Still though I much prefer female ballerinas - movement is so fluid and light, floating about the stage like butterflies.

I thoroughly enjoyed myself. We then went into this sushi place and had really really good conveyor belt sushi (and I am super picky about my Japanese food!) and it felt good too because the waitress complimented us on our attire. At home N gives me the cheesiest vday card ever hahaha with his cute completely childlike handwriting with a couple of spelling mistakes etc. - classic N being so bad with expressing himself.

Yesterday morning N's dad finally leaves - hurrah!!! This means no more hiding around the house anymore.

Yesterday night though, I was on campus and we have this thing on Thursday where there's free booze at the yard, so I was having a good time talking to my friends, finally super relieved that I found a job and at such a great globally renowned company too, when G and BD (Bald Dude) comes over...

So G is this 22-year old guy I cheated on N with. He whipped his dick out in the school bus on a field trip during the second week of school and got me to stroke it a bit - it was really hot because it was so dangerous. N isn't usually that thrill-seeking. We were also in separate stalls in the gym shower, and I wanked him under the gap. He also sucked me off etc...so we do definitely had a bit of sexual history which made me very guilty with the whole cheating thing, but N and I got over it (as mentioned in entries earlier)

Now BD is this 30-something dude with a huge nose and is completely bald, skinny, and unattractive, but he is bolstered by the fact that he is working at one of the most prestigious consulting firms in the world, and loves preying on younger men. I know he is also interested in me sexually, because he has made a couple passes before but I always brushed it off but I did lightly flirt back just for the heck of it really. He is a nice guy though, but too fucking sex-crazed for me, and I've always kind of thought he is a bit of a sexual predator given that he only preys on younger guys.

Turns out BD has fucked G a couple times in school, as BD was explaining to me that G is a power bottom. He told me this in confidence, but I was drunk, and I was kind of insulted, because it made me feel that G has no standards, and why the hell should I ever be attracted to someone who has no standards (sorry but I just cannot fathom that)?? I confronted G about this, who in turn immediately told BD cos that fugly prick came along to interject our conversation, and then they both got pissed with me for divulging secrets. Then BD drags me along and says "let's go talk in a more private area" and then I go along with them drunkenly and suddenly I see them both making out.

I get really uncomfortable and I was like "Okay woah, what is going on" and they started undressing each other, and BD touches me too. I kept pushing his hand away telling him that I'm not doing this, but I was pretty intoxicated and didn't completely defend myself. G comes over and lightly kisses me, I don't kiss back, but I don't fight either, and I tell him "hey I don't wanna do this" but then he kneels down and whips my rock hard dick out and starts sucking me off for 2 seconds, and then I push him away and pull my pants up. All this time BD is groping my butt and I keep telling them "I'm not like you guys, also I need to go get my bag"

Then the security guard came, caught G with his fucking pants down, me in the corner and BD standing up from a kneel. Fuck. My. Life. He takes all of our names down, and I rush off feeling fucking angry and still drunk, and I told both BD and G that I don't want to see them for a while. I call N and confess about what happened and say I'm sorry, and surprisingly he says it's completely fine because he fully trusts me. Wow. I'm a lucky man.

I go to McDonald's drunk and angry and I order 20 piece nuggets and two chicken mayo burgers ahahaha. Drunchies lmao. I eat all that shit up (I think I ordered nuggets because I went to the gym before that so I wanted my protein), got home, and texted BD that what happened tonight was not cool, and he told me "I am disappointed because I feel betrayed that you told G what happened when I specifically said it was a secret. I don't think I can tell you anything from now on."

And I blew up - I was like, "Fuck? Tonight I pretty much felt like I was being sexually violated against my will and this is what you're cranking on about?" And he told me "It won't happen again. Let's be professional about this."

Good heavens. He just doesn't get it. I'm not going to get on a moral high horse or whatever here of course - but the simple fact is: BD is atrociously unattractive (hence why N never saw him as a threat) and the fact that he molested me, and tried to make me join in the threesome with him and G is just plain revolting to me. He also fucking knew that I have told him multiple times that N and I are in a very committed monogamous (for the most part) relationship, and I am not going to be some easy slut and let any bald old dickhead suck me off or fuck me. If I'm already dating Prada, why the fuck would I suddenly go shop at Walmart?

Anyway, I doubt I want to hang out with him anymore. He got what he wanted - to touch me here and there whatever, so I don't have much else to say to him. And for G, same too. He told me he wants to explain to me why he had sex with BD, but I doubt I want to hear the reasons - he is just how I do not like my eggs to be cooked: over easy.

This entry has been super fucking snarky, but it honestly just disgusts me how I actually just let myself trust these people and got myself into such a situation. I am so lucky that N is so understanding about the situation.

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