Sunday, September 27, 2015

New Job


I love this song. So calming, so masculine and yet so delicate - this is exactly what I like about men.

Anyway, my new job has officially started. It's amazing because I have six weeks of training in total, and I've done three so far, and I can't even begin to describe how blessed I feel that I managed to get this gig. My opportunities after this will be really good - I am sure about this.

It's also great that I'm surrounded by so many like-minded, and smart, people. Loads of people here are from Oxbridge and I can really tell the difference between them and the Essex type that the other half is swarmed by. 7% of the cohort is Asian (terribly few), so I initially felt very out of place (given the fact that my U.S. college was pretty much 30% Asian, and my grad school in the U.K. was 40% Asian), compounded with the fact that everyone is such a "bloke" (English version of a frat bro) but I've coped I believe.

I've learned quite a lot about myself - especially the fact that I need to doubt myself less. I am in fact really quite smart (now that I've been able to compare myself with the rest) so I shouldn't feel like my cultural and sexual "differences" will hamper me. It paralyzed me at the beginning though - in fact I even spoke to one of the partners about this.

Anyway, yeah, life is extremely hopeful now :o)

Wednesday, September 2, 2015

Major Crush - JJ Feild

HOLY SWEET LORD JESUS I'M ON FIRE

So I've been spending my last two weeks of freedom before work starts next week completely bumming around at home alone (N is in Greece with his friends), and binge-eating and binge-watching the telly. Today Brokeback Mountain was on so I watched it again, and felt such a deep sense of sadness and...a general sense of "feeling" I guess, that I wanted to watch something else light to wash over the heaviness of everything.

Austenland was on on another channel, and the plot seemed so silly I thought what the heck let's see where this goes. Turns out it was perfect - fluffy, silly, funny, doesn't take itself seriously at all. But best of all,

HENRY NOBLEY aka a parody of Mr. Darcy aka JJ Feild.

Oh dear mother of all gods, nobody has ever alerted me to the existence of this fine specimen who does indeed look like a cross between Tom Hiddleston and Lee Pace, both of whom I fucking love. Tom for well, his great acting. His Loki was really good, and he was pretty cool in Lovers Left Alive too. Lee Pace was so adorably swooning in Pushing Daisies. AND THIS GUY IS THE BEST OF BOTH WORLDS. AND THOSE PUPPY DOG EYES.




You know, I've actually always imagined that I would end up dating someone who looks like that: intellectual, tousled, strange and brooding, but smiley around me. Oh, and yes, definitely the English grace and manners. N is intellectual (but not intellectual-looking), definitely not tousled (he straightens his hair all the time to look perfectly magazine-ready all the time), not brooding (most of the time super optimistic), but yes definitely smiley around me. And very strangely I don't notice his British accent and grace, because when he speaks with me it's quite a baby voice ahahah; however all my American friends who've met him have told me "Oohh!! You never did tell me about his sexy accent!"

So I guess, while I definitely will fangirlfaint if I see JJ Feild in real life, I do have my own version of Mr. Darcy with me now, and he does sweep me off my feet (literally some times too, because he is 6 inches taller than me...)