I'm being totally frank about my feelings. I didn't want a full break and delete and stuff. I did kind of just want a pause button for a while and would have liked to set some optimistic terms but never got the chance to do that together considering everything that happened.
I'm very open to actually sitting down together and talking and seeing what we can do because I don't think we just avoiding the inevitable. Because to me the inevitable is that we are really great together and so well suited for each other and have a lot of feelings for one another or at least I do for you.
But considering all my issues and all my unresolved problems and the pain I caused you, I needed to take a step back and press pause and address those difficulties and problems to slowly overcome them in a healthy manner and learn and adapt. I don't want to just block them out and have them crawl their way back into our lives to cause future problems you know.
I am not ready for a full blown relationship right now and I'm also not having fun or anything like that. Right now as I previously mentioned my focus is on myself to get better and become better and address problems and difficulties in a more healthy and positive method. That is what's best. But if you can, I would love to sit down and talk to you and set timelines ... If that's something you're still interested in. I have previously said that I do still see myself with you and having a family together.
It's about making sure we don't have the same problems as before and it's about us becoming a stronger couple (if you even still would consider us being one I mean). I think we slightly became better last January after addressing some issues but the problem was that we still had underlying problems and I wasn't able to face my past in some ways and I am doing that now. By fixing the root of the problem and by no longer having any secrets from you I'm taking a step forward and I think that's great for me and for us.
I am actually fully honest and upfront with you about everything. Right now if I'm being frank; I just wanna hangout. I'm not ready to put a label on anything or deal with any extra pressure. But I think this wouldn't be an effective pause unless we do have some guidelines and timeframe. We never got a chance to set those because of how you decided to protect yourself and distance yourself and that's fine. I don't blame you at all. It was a self protective mechanism and totally justified. But I didn't know you would still like to work on it now. If you truly do, then I am thrilled to actually sit down together and see what we can do.
This isn't about delaying an inevitable. But rather about realising the best possible healthy future :)
I miss you