Life moves on. Wow. It's so tough letting go and realising how little control one has over one's life, and wait side note, how annoying it is to hear one use "one" multiple times in one's sentence - I kid, I love to say weird shit like that;
It's May. Holy fucking cow. Five months since everything spiralled out of control. A lot has changed but for the most parts, it feels rather similar. I am in a better place though, which is a good thing.
It's 3:30 am and tomorrow I am moving apartments once again. Except...N is helping me move this time. It's semi-complicated - which is something I have been trying to work with a therapist to disentangle but to be honest, I'm more Amy Schumer than Dianna Agron (go YouTube their names if you don't get that reference); all this positive shit is kind of lame and foolish really - the therapist told me that I should remember I am a human being not a human doing
LIKE OH COME ON
Basically I tried the whole woah this is a great time to develop myself as a person spiritually mentally etc-ally, and go to the gym and eat healthy and sleep well and walk up and down the stairs instead of taking the elevators and listen to happy music
Now I just chill fat on my bed jack off tons eat craptons of potato chips drink loads of coffee but I basically feel like the same dude my body isn't punishing me or whatever for all this.
Anyway. Real update another time. And just to make it clear. I am not together with N - we are definitely broken up.