Turns out, I don't think I can ever really stop drinking. I didn't want to go out clubbing last night, but caved from peer pressure and ended up having a really fun time, though I blacked out, called N 8-9 times, got an Uber, and woke up at home being like 'wtf happened?'
Hahaha classic. Thank god that my friend was sober enough to take care of me. And thank god also that now when I get drunk I don't go tooo crazy picking fights with people or insulting everyone that I see. I've become more chill now, if by chill meaning still getting hammered but at least not aggressive :P
Life is really, really great. The office that I'm in now has free beer / prosecco after 4 pm EVERY day. That was how I started my Friday night - I sent off some really pretty PowerPoint slides that I did (I'm a consultant after all this is my bread and butter), drank 4 glasses of prosecco at the office, headed off for dinner pretty buzzed, food was really good, then went over to my friend's place and had soju bombs (we did this in a funny Korean way of balancing the soju shot on chopsticks and then banging our heads on the table shouting a Korean phrase that means "I will do better!!!" LOL), then went to an Asian club and had sake bombs. My life is so Asian even in London I love it :)
Things with N have become so so good. I don't really know how we got here, but I'm very happy. It's like a dream but not the naive sort of dream I had before - we cook and eat at home, cuddle a lot, and watch movies together a lot. We treat each other with mutual respect, and lots of friendly teasing too. But we don't do every single thing together - and that's great. My drunken Friday night was spent with my friends without him, and I had so much fun.
I think I'm finally getting the hang of what it means to be in a relationship. We've dialled things back a little, which helps. Our first holiday together in a very, very long time would be end May. I am looking forward to it.